Cast: Bipasha Basu, Imran Abbas, Mukul Dev, Bikranjeet Kanwarpal, Deepraj Rana
Director: Vikram Bhatt
Rating: Two stars
The unique distinction that this film had was that it was the only film that Mahatma Gandhi saw in his entire lifetime and, 70 years later I, Vikram Bhatt his grandson, am the only filmmaker to have the distinction of making a film that has its main villain entirely generated by computer graphics imagery. The film is called, Creature 3D.”
This is a first, and it is ingenious.
How else would a mediocre film from a once promising director stand out?
But Mr Bhatt should have told the Prime Minister the whole truth.
Because if Mr Modi does, indeed, watch the film and tweet about it, with an I’m-so-scared-by-your-CGI Creature selfie, he may not remain such a fan of make-in-India for long.
Creature 3D is about a creature and it’s in 3D. It stars Bipasha Basu who plays an anxious lonely lass, Ahana, trying to run a hotel on the edge of a forest in the hills of Himachal Pradesh.
She’s taken a huge bank loan to do this.
As she supervises all the departments on the hotel’s opening night, Christmas, she pops pills in between to calm down.
The oven is not working and yet the “best chef in the world” promises to churn out a sponge cake.
Guests arrive and one by one they all go “Wow! Wow!” Even the annoying honeymooning couple.
But we see that around all this excitement lurks a creature with a spiky tail, way too much dead skin and a chest congestion that’s very worrying.
A dismembered leg on the autopsy table of the local hospital doesn’t perturb the forest ranger. He’s uncouth and dismissive, and that in such a film means that he’ll be fed to the creature soon.
Much like the annoying honeymooners. That’s a genre promise.
A villager appears to shout, at no one in particular, something about a peepal tree that should not have been cut by the road developers.
There, an environmental message for Mr Modi when he sits down with his notepad to watch the film.
Back at the hotel, a guest is mistaken for the band singer. Kunal (Imran Abbas) doesn’t mind. He likes the lonely, lovely lass.
But he’s here on a secret mission, which his daddy calls and reminds him about. It may or may not have something to do with Ahana’s tragic past in Mumbai. If it does, it could trigger Ahana’s “genetic urge to commit suicide”. Pills, pills, more pills. Be calm and run hotel.
But then, her guests start returning from their trek in the forest in bloody parts. And soon, instead of waiting in the forest, the Creature decides to come to Ahana’s Glendale Forest Hotel.
He first goes for the chef, and then...
Some where in Mumbai a zoology professor (Mukul Dev) is monitoring all this and has it all more or less figured. Who this creature is, why this creature is, and how to get rid of it.
It’s a Brahm Rakshas and I could tell you exactly how godly men turn into a half dinosaur-half lizard Creature with a face that has traces of Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean.
But what if Mr Modi is reading? That’ll spoil all the fun for him, and Mr Bhatt won’t like that at all.
Will Mr Modi have popcorn and coke combo while watching Creature 3D? He should. But how will he wear 3D glasses over his own rather smart spectacles? Mr Bhatt must crack this soon and make-in-India 3D glasses that are compatible with specs.
Because without those his film is a waste of time.
The only thing worth watching in this film, apart from Ms Basu’s constant jiggling, is the Creature in 3D.
It arrives in dramatic, interesting parts. First the tail slithers. Then the claws come at us.
Then there’s his asthamatic breathing.
Eventually, when the whole Creature is presented to us, we are confused. It looks like it’s Made in China.
