Hyderabad: “It’s been two years since my divorce and I can meet my five-year-old son only once a month for just an hour. The pain of separation pushed me to jump off the second floor of my building. But, I survived,” says a 32-year-old corporate employee from the city. He had to separate from his wife after she filed a 498 (A) (Domestic violence) against him.
“There was a time when I had nobody to talk to and nobody would even listen to me. Everybody started looking at me like I was a villain, a wife-beater,” he said.
Perhaps keeping men in such situations in mind, the theme for International Men’s Day on November 19 is ‘Keeping men and boys safe by tackling suicide’.
According to the National Crime Records Bureau, in 2012, the number of suicides by married men stood at 63,343, which is double the figure among married women, 31,921.
According to the NCRB, 2,043 separated men committed suicide as compared to 1,240 separated women. Another 7,541 men in the age group of 30-44, ended their lives due to family problems.
Another techie, who returned home from the US after a 16-year stay for his kids’ education, says he was arrested without knowing why.
“My wife alleged that I hit her and abused her and here I am, away from her and both my children. I haven’t seen them in five years and I am still running around the courts,” he said.
Many men are of the opinion that the judiciary is biased against men. “The system is insensitive towards us and even the idea of gender equality is subjective. There is a department even for animal husbandry, but not for men’s rights,” said Pawan Kumar, a member of the Save Indian Family, which works for the rights of men in distress. “We are not against women empowerment. We just need to be heard and our problems have to be addressed in a proper way,” Kumar said.
Psychologists said emotional trauma, inability to vent, separation from kids, monetary loss and the impact on their families makes them feel suicidal. “I have had a few counselling sessions that went on for five hours.
People would cry, because men are answerable not just to their family, but to their in-laws’ families, their friends. We do not usually encourage counselling bet-ween couples who are undergoing a marital conflict. They are directly dealt by the law in a majority of cases,” said Dr Radhika Acharya, a psychologist.
