Don’t let your personal equations ruin your professional ties

Mumbai: Bollywood was abuzz with news that Ranbir Kapoor has signed on Suzanne Roshan to design his bachelor pad. While it wouldn’t normally be shocking or particularly newsworthy for an actor to rope in another actor’s wife to help do up in home, in this case the matter seemed complicated (read gossip-worthy) thanks to Suzanne’s tricky association with her husband. Even as Hrithik Roshan and Suzanne filed for divorce on Wednesday, the former and Ranbir remain industry colleagues whose paths are very likely to cross given they’re a part of the same fraternity.

One needn’t boycott an ex; that would be unfair and rather extreme. But professional commitments and overlapping social circles may require you to stay in touch with your ex’s colleagues or peers, or a friend’s ex. But how do you maintain your equation with the individual irrespective of what’s happened between your former partner and you?

“If the break-up ended amicably, by all means, you can commit yourself to a professional cause,” says Dr Sharita Shah, a Mumbai-based consulting woman and child psychiatrist. She says that while you may have your history with your partner, make sure that your relationship status doesn’t spell doom in your personal equations. Sharita elaborates, “Professional commitments can be fostered only when there is no animosity between the two parties. Your relationship is based on your connection with the individual/friend. As long as you deal with it as a grown-up, no party should have a problem with it.”

Etiquette and grooming expert Rukshana Eisa advises one to treat the job strictly as a professional gig without the hint of any previous baggage. She says, “Since you’re conducting business, make sure you preserve the decorum: Treat him/her like you would treat your colleagues. Exchange pleasantries, talk, share and get back to business.” She continues, “Understand that though you maybe part of the social circle, you cannot let your hair down and talk about everything under the sun. Remember that at the end of the day, you’re strictly colleagues.”

Sharita feels that maintaining mutual respect and making sure that there is a non-personal common ground will help. She says, “Make sure that your conversations veer toward your common interests or likings. Your past should never be brought up or discussed. If it is, make sure you change the subject.”

Maintaining your relationship with your peers only means that you have moved on. Psychotherapist and counsellor Minnu Bhosle insists that these are signs that you are taking to the break-up maturely. She explains, “The good news is that you have moved on from the break-up and don’t let it define or dictate your relationships anymore. If you can handle these associations, it only means that you are looking ahead. If striking a deal with your ex-partner’s colleague works out in your best interest, why ruin it? You cannot let your personal equations impede your professional aspirations.