Of all people, the one I can’t stand is the person who says, “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.” Many who call themselves “spiritual” are also reading horoscopes, tarot cards and self-healing.
I think the only time I saw self-healing demonstrated very well was by Rambo in First Blood when he stitched his own arm shut after he cracked a guy’s back while jumping off a cliff. And the only reason he let his arm split open was because he wanted to make the bad guys think that they still had a chance.
Coming to horoscopes, one thing I can’t believe about them is that some people make financial and relationship decisions based on them. Yes, there are people out there who literally believe clumps of huge rocks and dirt floating around pockets of gas in outer space have something to do with their stocks and their loved ones.
Ever noticed how people ask you what sign you are and when you answer they always say, “I knew it”. That’s because they’re full of their own nonsense. It doesn’t matter what sign you tell them you are, they’ll always say, “Yeah, you’re totally it, I can tell.” No, they can’t tell but they would like to delude themselves because they are idiots. I hate it when people ask me what “sign” I am.
Astrological signs are based on arbitrary zodiac symbols drawn by people who also believed that light from stars came from vents on burning chariot wheels. I mean, do you people even read this?
Here’s a sample horoscope I found. ‘Creative energy, especially involving writing or speaking, could be overflowing within you today. Ideas could be coming thick and fast, dear Leo. You might want to call some old friends and discuss your thoughts with them.’
Creative energy? What the hell is creative energy? Also, notice how the tone is set by the use of “Dear Leo”, as if some ancient sage was addressing a dear old friend that would be you. I especially like the “could be overflowing” part, which covers the astrologers in the unlikely event that the horoscope was nonsense and has nothing to do with anyone or anything in the universe. Of course, that would mean fraud, so thankfully we have the doctrine of uncertainty to protect psychics everywhere from malpractice lawsuits. Otherwise the believers, an entire world of aging people, young girls and bored housewives would have to find a new pass time.
I realised even in my college days when people would read their horoscopes they would realise that more or less 70 per cent of things are similar in everyone’s life. So instead of becoming realistic and understand that human beings will have more or less the same problems, they would be dumb enough to believe that Saturn and Jupiter are planning their rotation or revolution trips to accommodate the emotional and financial needs of every Tom Dick and Harry of the world.
