Thank God I had the good sense to keep my mouth shut and not greet the second most important man in the country (a position that was held for years by Dileep Padgaonkar when he was the editor of a major newspaper with a cheery, “Kem Chho, Amit Bhai?” I guarantee his response would not have been , “Maja ma.” Amit Shah looked decidedly disgruntled and “khadoos” during his short trip to Mumbai.
Our brief encounter took place when I was firmly escorted to occupy an empty chair next to THE strongman du jour, Mr Shah (president of the Bharatiya Janata Party). I guess the drill was pre-set. He sat staring straight ahead. Chair occupiers shifted uncomfortably in their seats. The ice was not meant to be broken. His minders identified various people in the large gathering, and got them to park their behinds briefly on the empty chair next to the chief guest for the evening. I still haven’t figured out why I was the chosen one for this honour. But there I was, seated by the side of an unsmiling, portly person, his hands resting on his stomach, his expressionless face giving away nothing.
Assorted minions turned up to present their credentials and leave visiting cards with his assistants. Each visitor was given the same icy treatment — a cold stare and raised eyebrow. The lady responsible for getting him to the function explained sheepishly, “He is very shy.” Ummm… okay! Does shy also include rude? Bharat Ratna Sachin Tendulkar was parked on Mr Shah’s right. It must have been for the photo-ops. They didn’t exchange a single word either.
A steady procession of people looking for face time with the BJP boss kept walking up to him, hands extended. Most hands were ignored. But Mr Shah did shake hands with two Bohra community leaders who asked, “How should we address you? Amit Bhai, Amitji, Amit saab or Shah saab?” He replied, “Address me as you wish… it’s fine.” And then the show moved to a gigantic ballroom where he was to preside over an awards’ function. There was palpable tension in the room as dozens of photographers tripped over themselves in their rush to click the man Mumbai does not know at all. The compere tried in vain to get the cameramen to follow protocol… but soon gave up.
Mr Shah’s hooded eyes surveyed the audience keenly. A few BJP supporters raised slogans but were silenced quickly. The function got underway briskly, as award winners from different fields tried to suppress their excitement when their names were called out. All, except Helen (Ms Helen, as she was called). Who giggled and blushed and candidly admitted she was thrilled!
Everybody was there to listen to just one man. Errr… make that two. I forgot Sachin. Sachin spoke just before Mr Shah. Sachin received thunderous applause for his diabetes speech. Next came our man. Most political watchers were surprised he wasn’t celebrating Big Brother’s birthday in Ahmedabad, or participating in dhokla diplomacy with Chinese President Xi Jinping. Before too much was read into this, there were whispers that Amit Bhai was on an equally important mission in Mumbai — to show Uddhav Thackeray and the Shiv Sena that he could do without the alliance in the forthcoming Maharashtra Assembly polls.
It was reliably learnt that a core team of the BJP was going into a huddle right after the lavish dinner (which Mr Shah skipped), to figure out a way of saying “Alvida” to the 25-year-old political marriage. So, no silver jubilee celebrations for the shaadi coming up, folks. Divorce papers are on the way!
After a gushing introduction in which Mr Shah was frequently referred to as a modern day “Chanakya”, the man known as “master strategist” walked to the podium and started his speech. Once the business of the day was concluded, guests relaxed over sharab-kebabs and gave marks to the second most etc etc etc. It was unanimously agreed that his address was a total letdown. He barely scraped past the pass mark. And that was a generous assessment by a discerning crowd.
Apologists for his lacklustre performance pointed to the morale crushing byelection results that had flattened the BJP’s inflated/ invincible image and created a dent in Amit Bhai’s halo. Mr Shah was still being hailed as the undisputed architect of the impressive national mandate when newspapers crowed: “After the landline, the slide.” Well, one weak speech does not a loser make… but yes, this was Mumbai. And it was Mr Shah’s coming out party in a way.
Even favour seekers agreed it was a flop show. That’s fine. Elections abhi baaki hai, mere doston. If BJP goes solo — and wins — Amit Bhai will have cracked the 1,00,000 crore superhit political club. We shall know soon enough. Meanwhile, being six inches away from someone like Mr Shah was quite an experience, I can tell you. There is still a chill in my bones — and it’s not even winter!
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