Through a post on Facebook, a recently married friend unravelled plenty of knowledge about how what a woman thinks a man desires and what he actually gets attracted are very different.
Women spend considerable time on hairdos, makeup, matching the right shoes and expensive accessories with their dress and spend hours dressing up for that special man.
Men find this superficial and frivolous. The branded bag, loud shoes, blingy belt and micro minis only make a lady look too ‘branded’.
Simplicity, light humour and balanced conversation make a person desirable. Just let the chemistry and attraction take its course. Men definitely do not find layers of makeup fetching. Being unpretentious and spontaneous is what appeals to men.
Loading up on brands and makeup can actually work in opposite ways. It is similar to how most women are put off by boastful and braggart men.
More importantly, a partner who is attracted by brands and superficialities is also not the right person to look out for because their priorities are not you but the wealth you own. So on all counts, I’d go with the sincere, unpretentious person for a date over a contrived candidate.
The other big misconception is that men like skinny women. That too I’m told, by reliable sources, is completely unattractive “why would we wish to be with a strappy page boy when the real thing is curvy and voluptuous?”
Not long ago I had introduced a model and an aspiring Bollywood actor to an investment banker. It was a long distance relationship.
Months later, when they rendezvoused in a foreign country, both so excited about the romantic getaway, disaster struck.
The thing is when they met for the first time, and subsequently over Skype and video dates she had worked on herself with extensions, makeup and clothes that flattered her more than what she actually was.
When he saw her up close and in moments of intimacy, he was in for a rude shock. He balked and they had a bitter break-up. I do agree this was hollow on his part. But having said that, the lady should not have transformed her looks to such a great extent that she looked far from reality.
Things that keep a relationship going are humour, honesty, affection, holding it together when your partner is losing the plot and most importantly, fidelity.
Just avoid all kinds of artifice and be authentic and heartfelt. Or else, you will just have a relationship that is going to last only as long as you can keep the act going.
The author is a lifestyle columnist. You can mail her at nishajam-vwal@gmail.com
