This January, Valerie Trierweiler’s public image was in shambles. A local magazine had published details of her partner, French President Francois Hollande’s affair with an actress. Valerie’s subsequent emotional and physical breakdown was well documented. The appearances she was to make with the President were cancelled; from being among the most powerful women in France (or at least the partner of the most powerful man), Valerie suddenly seemed powerless.
But by November, Valerie was back in the news. She published a tell-all about her relationship with Hollande, chronicling his alleged cruelties to her, and finally, the affair revelation, after which he reportedly asked doctors to keep Valerie sedated.
Valerie’s memoir has turned the tables: From being seen as a “weak victim”, Thank You For This Moment has put the onus on Hollande instead, painting him, as one review mentions as “mean, cold, ungenerous, given to offensive macho put-downs and snobbish contempt, a serial liar in love and in politics, self-satisfied and media-obsessed”.
Incidentally, another woman who was embroiled in a presidential scandal, Monica Lewinsky, also found a way to rewrite her story — with an essay in Vanity Fair, where she presented for the first time, her experiences during and after the infamous Bill Clinton episode. From being shamed, Monica shaped a more dignified image of herself.
Monica and Valerie have both done what experts call “taking charge of your narrative”, changing commonly held perceptions about you. “It’s difficult to absorb humiliating experiences, but you have to find a way to accept it, take the positive, and leave the nightmare behind,” says image consultant Chetna Mehrotra.
Life coach Khyati Birla also believes that understanding your current “narrative” is very important before you begin to change it. “Are you able to identify the cause for the current effect? Are you able to connect the dots retrospectively? If yes, then these are the areas that need to be changed to reinvent your current narrative,” she explains. She also adds that when you choose to move on, you need to ensure that you aren’t casting yourself in the “victim mould”.
Experts also stress that how much energy you want to expend in changing the public version of your life story is a matter for consideration. “Remember that people are always going to judge you — so how much do you want to stretch in providing a justification?” says life coach Devanshi Gandhi. Life coach Sara Khan too agrees that battles need to be chosen wisely. “Let not the world, people or society affect you; just control your own mind,” she advises. “It’s important to let the storm pass.”
