Living in with love

Kushal Punjabi and Sukhmani Sadana star in the new show #LoveBytes. The story focuses on a young couple that is coming to terms with everything a committed relationship entails. Kushal and Sukhmani sat down for a chat with us about love, live-in relationships and more.

Kushal, Sukhmani — what is your take on live-in relationships?
K: I think live-in relationships are the best way for a couple to really understand and get to know each other completely. It’s as real as it gets and both the partners see the best and worst of each other — which wouldn’t happen if you were just casually dating. Of course, marriage is a whole other ball game. For me, the signing of a paper adds pressure to a relationship, especially if you got into it a little prematurely. I think one should live, explore and experience each other before getting into the official bond of marriage.
S: I think live-in relationships are the best way forward, before you get married. Arranged marriages are scary since everyone is on their best behaviour for those few meetings, but when you live-in, nothing is hidden. Your true colours emerge and I think both partners have a better idea of what they’re getting into.

Have you ever been in a live-in relationship or known someone who was in one?
K: Yes, I have and I loved every moment of it. It really depends on your partner. When a couple is compatible and on the same page, a live-in relationship can be heaven. Of course, you’ll have issues and disagreements, but then that is a part of any relationship. And yes, I also know people who are in live-in relationships, and are happy and enjoying their time and space together.
S: I have not been in a live-in relationship, but I’ve had friends who are. They are all happy.

What would you say are the pros and cons of a live-in relationship?
K: The pros are that you get to know each other’s true selves. There is no pretence. The joy of sharing your life with someone you love, without the pressure of a legal procedure — that’s liberating. Even if you grow apart at a later stage, you can separate without any legal hassles. The cons include the social stigma attached to live-in relationships, especially when it comes to women. Also, your partner can one day just wake up and say, ‘I’m done’ and walk out of the door, without any issues or responsibilities, and that becomes a problem for the other partner.
S: The biggest pro is that your partner is with you 24/7! The con is that your partner is with you 24/7!

What according to you, does it take, to keep the romance alive in a relationship?
K: Keep the fun alive. Do wild, crazy things together. Sing, dance, travel, party, read, eat, drink, exercise — do whatever you like — but do it together so your bond deepens. Communicate. Surprise each other. Understand each other’s personalities, moods, likes and dislikes.
S: I think to stay happy, you have to at least make an effort to be the ‘bigger’ one. If you take a few seconds before reacting to something, look at a situation from your partner’s perspective, it really helps. ‘Don’t judge their path if you haven’t walked their journey’ — is a quote I really love.

What’s been the most interesting date you’ve had?
K: I took part in the international version of Fear Factor in Malaysia almost 10 years ago. I met this Malaysian actress there who was my competitor. We hit it off really well and went out on a date on our last evening in Kuala Lumpur. I was expecting the situation to end romantically, but instead, we chatted about our lives till 7 am, eating pizza, and became best friends for life.
S: My most interesting date was when I wore heels for the first time to look good for a boy. I made a complete fool of myself as I ripped and rolled down the entire staircase. Probably goes without saying that the guy dumped me!

Rapid fire

Love is...
K: Beautiful, if handled with care and patience.
S: Still a mystery.

The thing I first notice in the opposite sex:
K: The confidence in her eyes.
S: His height.

Shows I’m hooked to:
K: Fargo, Madmen, 24.
S: Small Wonder and Family Guy (I know, I’m still a kid!)

Favourite movies:
K: Films by Tim Burton, Tarantino, Fincher, Nolan. On home ground, it would be Gowariker, Raju Hirani, Neeraj Pandey.
S: Children Of Heaven, Life Is Beautiful, Up, Into The wild, Requiem For A Dream

A disastrous date:
K: One where you need to pretend to be someone else. Or if she throws up on you after drinking too much! [laughs]
S: I once called my date by my ex-boyfriend’s name — not once or twice, but seven times!