Siblings in the same profession is nothing new. And as with everything else in life, one usually is better than the other. Does this rivalry translate to their personal lives? How do they cope with it?
Tennis siblings Serena and Venus for example played against each other for the 28th time on Wednesday, at the US Open, and while Serena having the upper hand was expected, their ability to maintain a great relationship as siblings despite being constantly pitted against each other has people wondering how they manage to do it.
Working in the same profession can sometimes take its toll on personal relationships, especially when that career is in the public eye. But some celebrity siblings, like Shruti and Akshara Haasan, both actresses, share a great relationship, while cricketers Irfan and Yusuf Pathan are known to be fond of each other though they often compete against each other, even for a spot in the same team. Naga Chaitanya and Akhil Akkineni will soon be competing at the Tollywood box office and yet aren’t at loggerheads with each other.
Veteran singer Lata Mangeshkar had also recently rubbished rumours of a feud between her and sister Asha Bhosle, saying, “It is said that Asha had to constantly live in my shadow, that’s absolutely untrue... There’s no fight between us.”
Tollywood actor Allu Sirish, whose brother Allu Arjun is his senior in the industry, says, “Earlier, he felt he shouldn’t influence me too much, but now he realises I need guidance. My brother sits in on all my story sessions and has to approve the final shooting script along with dad (Allu Aravind).” Aravind also gives him pointers when he practises scenes at home.
Experts say that the way they’re raised tells of how things turn out when siblings are older. “When children are younger, they feel that they need to compete with each other to get the admiration of people around them,” says Dr Pulkit Sharma, a clinical psychologist at Delhi’s Imago, Centre for Self, “They will be very envious and competitive to outperform each other at any cost.” Dr Sucharita N. from the Roshni Counselling Centre agrees, saying, “Children are often compared with each other, at home as well as in school, so one child will definitely feel bad.”
Guiding the elder child into the role a “protector” helps negate any feelings of rivalry that may arise, says Dr Sucharita: “If the elder child is given the role of a protector and made to feel just as loved as the younger one, he or she won’t grow up with that feeling of sibling rivalry.”
Actress Sanjjanaa Galrani shares this “possessive” feeling for her younger sister Nikki: “We always relied on each other more than our parents, maybe because of the generation gap. I’ve been more like her elder brother; I’ve been possessive of her even SMSing a guy, going and tracking him to his house... I’ve been like a don in her life!”
Developing a culture of cooperation rather than competition should be every parent’s motto, says Dr Pulkit, with Sirish adding that making his own mark is his focus rather than competing with his brother. “To build my own identity is my aim” he says, “The process is hard and results won’t be instant but I know where I want to get to and I will get there.”
