Relations galore...

I met a girl through a dating site and to begin with she was gorgeous. She is very chilled out. We spoke and she told me about her past. I have never been in a relationship with anyone. When I told her this, she seemed shocked. I also told her that whenever my friends and I went out, we always entered parties as stags. To this she was even more zapped. Is there something abnormal about me?

Being a stag, or entering parties without partners, is it a matter of choice or lack of a female partner? Check your reasons for being single and focused on self rather than wanting to be in an intimate relationship. Decision of celibacy is a choice that arises of moral standards and wanting to wait for the right girl.

Opinions of others on such matters need not confuse you. It is how you define your life. It is normal to be  waiting for a meaningful relationship with someone you love and cherish rather than having flings and sexual experiences that can compromise your values and health.

My boyfriend is younger than me. He’s a nice guy. However, I seem to be picking up a few weird signals from him. A couple of times while we got intimate, I felt that it was all about him. he didn’t really seem to care about me. It kind of put me off but I ignored it. Then recently we got into a huge argument. He got a cracker deal during Diwali and wanted my help in selling them. Since I know how scared the animals get of crackers, I refused. Despite knowing how I felt about such things he went ahead selling and bursting them. That really upset me. The strange part is that he didn’t even feel bad that he hurt me. My gut is that this is a bad scene, what do you think?

A relationship is about two people respecting each other’s needs and wants. Your boyfriend and you had certain common interests that brought you together. However, it does not seem to hold well anymore. It appears that he is self centred. You need to look deep into yourself and check if you had always been a giving person. When you say he is an affectionate guy but also insensitive, to what extent are you willing to compromise?

Be clear about your priorities and needs in this relationship. Discuss them with your boyfriend and check if he improves. If the relationship continues to be centred on only one person you might have to reconsider if you want to stay in an unhealthy relationship.