The big O for women

“I don’t know whether my wife is getting her orgasm. When I ask her she says she also does not know about it. Can you describe it to me?” was the request of a dutiful husband.

Trying to describe orgasm is like trying to describe God. Neither can be described. They have to be experienced. The best analogy for orgasm is a sneeze.

Technically speaking, orgasm is an experience of a heightened sexual ecstasy, at the peak of sexual excitement, accompanied by rhythmic vaginal contractions in women and penile contractions usually accompanied by ejaculation in men, followed by total body relaxation in both. Physical factors like problems of the nervous system, hormone imbalance or consumption of certain medicines, drug abuse can deprive a person of orgasmic pleasure. Similarly, psychological factors like negative influence experienced during childhood, anxieties, depression, sexual problems of the male partner can cause orgasmic dysfunction.

Unlike men, orgasm for women doesn’t seem to be a universal requirement for successful intercourse, although this varies tremendously from woman to woman. Men may consider that intercourse without orgasm is like playing in a nil-nil game of football. Women on the other hand may enjoy the game without the need for a goal! Most surveys reveal that 75 per cent of men have reported having orgasm during sexual intercourse. But less than 30 per cent of the women had orgasm through intercourse. Women reach orgasm more reliably from masturbation. This is because the clitoris is not directly stimulated by vaginal intercourse.

Orgasmic capacity actually increases with experience and the ability to become orgasmic once learned is rarely forgotten. It has been shown that sex therapy can be particularly useful in the treatment of men and women who are experiencing difficulties with orgasm.