Sex deprived during World Cup: The offside challenge

Irrespective of the growing number of female football fans, one of the most common complaints during the World Cup is how men often abstain from sex because they have matches to follow instead.

We show women how to deal with it:

Don’t scream, it’s a futile effort: It happens once in FOUR years. Well you might feel the same about your dwindling sex life but the odds of you getting it on with your partner a little more frequently, are much higher than that.

If you’ve already known just how crazy he is about the sport, then your fretting and fuming about him ignoring the sack is nothing but a case of denial on your part.

If you didn’t know the extent of his craze for the sport, you could be forgiven. But throwing a tantrum each time he wants to watch that penalty shot is only going to make him want to spend lesser time with you.

Try and be interested in the sport. If not, stay out of his hair. But screaming is a complete no-no.

Lip service is subjective: He may have enjoyed and even encouraged some oral solicitation from you in the past while he was watching TV.

Now you find that he’s only permitting you to continue with it because it seems to be the only way to gag you. Pun wholly unintended.

The World Cup brings with it a completely different frenzy and a whole new set of social rules.

Granted there are two and three matches on most nights and it may seem like eternity until you get your intimate life in order, but asking him to focus on what’s happening ahead of him and what’s happening below him, at the same time, is actually just being unfair to him.

Half time is part of the match: Yes it seems like the match has paused and even the players are in all probability resting until the second half begins, but half time is very definitively a part of the match.

It’s the time when data is traded, opinions are sought and discussions are held most seriously about tactics and skills.

Men may choose to get up and stretch their legs, relieve themselves or even grab a quick bite in this duration but they haven’t zoned out of the match yet.

The superstitious ones may not even budge and would expect you to bring in the food.

If you’re up for that — fine. Otherwise you’d serve yourself well to steer clear of match time and join him post that.

Sexy lingerie helps a bit: The Internet has some very interesting offers right now for football print bikinis and even two-pieces that flaunt flags of various countries that are participating in this mega sporting event.

There’s even a popular pair of undies doing the rounds right now that emulates a goalpost — should you look to score.

It’s wonderful to see an entire industry on overdrive doing everything it could to get the football-loving man’s attention.

Bear in mind that just because you’ve bought yourself a pair, doesn’t guarantee an endless romping session.

There is also a high chance you would be completely overlooked on the night of a big match. Tread cautiously.

Find other sources of fun: It is really not an escapist thing to do. In fact he will thank you for it.

It might be cute initially that you’re asking him about the basics of football during a crucial part of a match.

But that’ll soon fade and you’ll be nothing but plain annoying.

Don’t be a wimp and deduce your relationship status based on his performance this month.

That’s like asking him to judge your emotional quotient around your crabby time of the month.

Keep yourself occupied with other things. Surely there are friends you haven’t met in a while, or books you’ve left half way.

At the end of the day, it’s just one month of frenzied football and you’d preserve your own sanity by staying out of his way when he wants you to.