Game for the ‘Big O’: All about sex and football

After playing a stellar role in Brazil’s success at the 2002 World Cup, Ronaldo said scoring two goals in the final against Germany felt better than sex. The forward was eminently qualified to talk about the subject because he excelled at it with gay abandon. Scoring a goal in football is often compared to orgasm. Passion is the bedrock of both soccer and sex, so it’s not a surprise when the two are mentioned in the same sentence.

How did testosterone-driven players behave themselves at the World Cup in Brazil? The country was reported to be awash with contraceptives as fans had unlimited fun during the month-long tournament. According to reports, thousands of call girls entertained fans when they weren’t watching football.
Many coaches candidly addressed the issue of allowing their players to have sex ahead of the World Cup. USA boss Jurgen Klinsmann had said he would adopt a liberal stand. “I think we are casual in the way we approach things,” he had told a TV channel. “In our team, players’ family can come pretty much any time.”

Miguel Herrera, coach of USA’s neighbour Mexico, had a polar opposite view to Klinsmann’s. He had warned his players to abstain from sex for a month. According to Herrera, whose antics on the sidelines during Mexico’s matches were sometimes more interesting than the action in the middle, players who couldn’t keep away from the world’s oldest sport weren’t fit to be football professionals.

Bosnia-Herzegovina coach Safet Susic echoed Herrra’s views and went a step further by suggesting an alternative method for players to satisfy their sexual urge. “If they are desperate, they can m@%$#@*%@. I don’t care what other coaches do. We would be going to Brazil to play the World Cup. It’s not a holiday trip,” he had said. Apparently, Susic’s conservative beliefs weren’t enough to inspire his team to the second round as Bosnia-Herzegovina failed to score in crucial moments... on the football pitch.

Dutch coach Louis van Gaal is known to be a disciplinarian in football but he also has a softer side as he permitted his players to mingle freely with their wives and girlfriends. Van Gaal’s decision paid dividends as the Dutch progressed to the second round with an all-win record. There is no absolute truth in the touchy issue but one thing is certain: the players have to be happy off the field if they have to perform well in a match.

Brazil’s Luiz Felipe Scolari, another coach cast in the mould of Van Gaal, realised the futility of keeping his players on a tight leash when the World Cup is staged in their own country. Sneaking away to see a ‘sick’ relative wouldn’t be beyond even the dumbest Selecao player. So Scolari relented with a rider to his players: Have fun but no acrobatics between the sheets.

Neymar, who got the World Cup to a spectacular start, couldn’t help but think of his girlfriend, Gabriella Lenzi, after starring in Brazil’s 3-1 win over Croatia in the tournament opener. “The only thing missing on the day was my girlfriend,” the forward said below a selfie with his flame he put out on Instagram. Lenzi, a celebrity in Brazil in her own right, owes her popularity to the skimpy dresses she wears as a swimsuit model. Now Neymar needs the support of his girlfriend more than ever as he recovers from the back injury that ended his World Cup. Cristiano Ronaldo, whose Portugal crashed out in the first round, posted a selfie with his girlfriend Irina Shayk after going home. At least, he has a shoulder to cry on.