Mystic Mantra: Friends forever

Can you imagine a world without friends? Without friendships? How would you feel if all your friends suddenly sever ties with you leaving you loveless, friendless? Wouldn’t humanity be poorer without the likes of Krishna-Sudama, David-Jonathan, Laila-Majnu? While celebrating UN World Friendship Day on July 30, let’s look at true friends and vow to fortify our friendships.

Friendship must be of equals. The psalmist says: “You, my equal, my close friend. We used to hold sweet converse together; within God’s temple we walked in fellowship.” Without equality, friendships become fetters of domination-subjugation.

True friends must counsel and criticise each other so as to bring out the best in them: “Faithful are the wounds (criticisms) of a friend” and “the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his/her earnest counsel.” If I do not counsel and criticise my friend when s/he is wrong, I’m no true friend.

The Bible celebrates friendships of male with male as between David and Jonathan of whom it’s said: “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved David as his own soul” and also of female with female as between Naomi and Ruth who pledges: “Wherever you go, I shall go; wherever you live, I shall live; your people will be my people.” Biblical couples epitomise deep devotion. There’s “love at first site”, so to say, when Jacob first spots Rachel beside a well and falls so madly in love with her that he toils 14 years for her father, Laban, to marry her. Conversely, there’s also treachery in loving as Delilah betrays Samson and hands him over to his foes: the Philistines.

Jesus has many friends: Peter, James, John — “the disciple whom he loved” and Lazarus, Mary, Martha of Bethany and Mary Magdala. Jesus calls his disciples “friends” and says: “No one has greater love than this — that one lays down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus lays down his for them, even as his friend Judas betrays him.

The Bible teaches that, despite the disparity, God befriends us — e.g., Abraham and Moses — speaking to Moses “face-to-face as one speaks to one’s friend”.

Whether Friendship Day is promoted for commercial purposes by Hallmark or Archies to peddle cards, gifts and friendship bands is immaterial. What matters most is what former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon envisaged: “On World Friendship Day, let’s cultivate warm ties that strengthen our common humanity — what our Indian Constitution terms ‘bandhuta’ and promote the well-being of the human family.”

Friendship involves risks, rewards, responsibilities. May God, our Friend, help us to knit our souls with many more friends until we all see God face-to-face: friends forever.

Francis Gonsalves is a professor of theology. He can be contacted at fragons@gmail.com