Who do you think you are?

All we keep searching throughout our lives are people to love and appreciate us. In this search, we sometimes believe in things that aren’t true. These could be about others or about ourselves. It is these beliefs that stop us from growing and feeling loved. Here is a list of five things that we should NEVER believe about ourselves.

I am a victim
If we look around, we would be able to recognise many people amongst us who always behave like a victim. In fact, maybe we too behave like victims without realising it. Victims always believe they are the ones who are suffering. The victims always question: “why me?” Believing in being a victim means  never taking control of our lives.

I can never be wrong
This belief could be stemming from the first one (being the victim) or from a completely different angle of superiority. Whatever the cause of this belief be, we think we have never been wrong and will never be wrong. We think it is always the fault of the other person and blaming others is our first reaction. Deep down if we hold the belief of never being wrong, we stop learning and ironically that in itself is wrong.

I can’t ever change
At times, we realise that we need to change, but there is a deep resistance to change. We all know that change is difficult and requires constant effort. This lack of required persistence makes us believe that we can never change, even though we want to. Change is the only constant. It is never too late or too early to change.

I am not good enough
The worst belief to hold about ourselves is that we are not adequate, not good enough for things or other people in our lives. Also, that we don’t deserve the best. When we undermine ourselves, the world does too. We need to remember that we are never lesser than anyone else. We must give ourselves credit for all that we are and the benefit of doubt for the things that we can change.

I will lose my friends if i truly be myself
Our self­doubt at times rules so much of our thoughts and behaviour that all we do is try to please others. We start believing that if we truly be who we are, we would lose our friends. Two simple questions to ask ourselves are: What worth are the people around us if they don’t accept us for who we are?

And can we truly be as ‘bad’ as we believe we are?
Just drop these beliefs and see how your life changes for the better.

The writer is a life coach and psychotherapist