Mystic Mantra: With restless hearts

When someone boasted about becoming a “doctor of theology”, the Master, who was quite a tease, asked with an air of innocence: “Doctor of theology? What kind of disease is that?” While some think theology is a disease, I think that any God-talk must create “disease” — an inner uneasiness that keeps one humbly seeking God who is beyond any thought and above every theology. Augustine of Hippo (354-430), the patron of theologians — whose feast we celebrate on August 28 — is the epitome of this restlessness.

In his autobiographical Confessions, Augustine writes: “O God, you have made us towards yourself and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” The words “towards yourself” (Latin, ad te) sound strange. Augustine firmly believed that the Creator-God so creates us that we will be happy not by doing evil, but by choosing good, goodness, godliness and God. Our restlessness has directionality: Godwardness!

The terra firma of Augustine’s thought was not esoteric beliefs about an uninvolved God enthroned above the clouds, but the pulls and pushes of his own heart. For him, God was “more intimate to me than I am to myself”. Hence, growing in awareness and affection for this divya antarayami (divine indweller), Augustine’s life was a pilgrimage towards Truth, to which he would come by trial and error.

Firstborn of a Christian mother, Monica, and an atheist father, Patricius, Augustine’s sparkling intellect inspired Patricius to send young Augustine to Carthage, the intellectuals’ utopia. Augustine soon mastered popular ideologies, but not without a mistress through whom he fathered an illegitimate son ironically named Adeodatus (Latin for “God’s gift”).

The dualistic philosophy of Mani (215-276) singularly fascinated Augustine. Dividing reality into two separate spheres — material and spiritual — and negating responsibility for one’s acts since they were the outcome of one’s material, congenital make-up was an enticing and convenient option. Augustine eagerly embraced Manichaeism but soon realised that reality cannot be dichotomised and God cannot be served with divided heart.

Mothers are the finest theologians for they teach us to utter God’s name in the cradle and thank God at the table. Rather than convert Augustine by reproach, Monica led by example and followed the 29-year-old Augustine to Milan, Italy.

Francis Gonsalves is a professor of theology. He can be contacted at fragons@gmail.com