Saat pheras Arya Samaj way

 

Over 25 such couples got married in the last eight months. Most of them are students. They include a few Americans, Russians, Australians and even a Chinese national who converted to Hinduism for their partners.

 

There were also three weddings wherein neither of the partners were Hindu, but willfully changed their religion for personal reasons like getting quick marriage certificates and moving out of the country.

 

Most of the marriages, however, were not for quick marriage certificates, but a conscious decision by the Hindu partner to get married according to Hindu rituals and in his or her own city.

 

Vitthal Rao Arya, president of the State Council of Arya Samaj, said, “We have had about 25 to 27 such couples this year. This is a new trend. As per our principles, we perform weddings only for people following Hinduism. But in some cases, when the girl or  the boy is from another religion, we tell them what our procedures are and that we cannot perform the wedding unless both are majors and Hindus.

 

“We do not immediately allow conversion. We counsel them and ask them if they are sure of their decision and only then we go ahead,” Mr Arya said. The couples are mandated to submit an affidavit, a medical certificate, age proofs, address proofs, passport photos and three witnesses each with their address proofs. 

 

“Only after all these documents verified do we perform the wedding. After the wedding, an Arya Samaj certificate is issued. This is valid across the country and even for applying for a passport. But for a visa, they must submit this to a registrar and in about a week, a marriage certificate is issued. A normal registry marriage will take a month and it is also a dull event. In this case, their friends come, we give them the space for the rituals and it’s like a celebration,” he added.

 

 

The state council of the Arya Samaj recorded a 40 per cent increase in inter-caste weddings in the city over the last couple of years. While five years ago, there were just three centres across the city, now, over 15 have been recognised, with one coming up soon at Banjara Hills.

 

Members at the Arya Samaj credit this to the recent exposure to social media, awareness, exposure and education as a result of which people have stopped discriminating on the grounds of caste.

 

In the last couple of years, the main centres within the city limits performed 100-150 weddings, whereas the ones in the corner pockets had about 100 weddings each. Till 2010, there were 80-100 weddings a year at the main centres and about 50-60 in the others.

 

“Back then, we had three centres: at Sultan Bazaar, Kacheguda and Secunderabad. The number of such weddings are increasing so we have also been recognising many centres across the city,” said Vitthal Rao Arya, president, Arya Pratinidhi Sabha. 

 

“We have also become cautious in registering weddings. Many people start perceiving this in a negative light and the institution gets a wrong tag. The Arya Samaj began as a reform movement to break caste barriers and bring equality among Hindus. We are not just a centre to perform weddings. We are a resource centre and we promote ancient literature. This trend of inter-caste marriages is definitely encouraging as sometimes even parents join their kids and participate in their decisions,” he said.

 

The other centres have been set up at Sitafalmandi, Medibowli, Lalapet, Jeedimetla, Bowenpally, Balkampet, Madannapet, Changicherla and Habsiguda. There are four more that have been set up at a rented space and do not have their own place yet.

 

 

Parents in many cases have said they go through humiliation as their children seek police support or go to the media when they oppose their decision regarding marriage. They said that children  must at least be answerable to their parents.

 

“My daughter got engaged and just a couple of days before the wedding, she married someone else. We were answerable to so many people. If there was at least some intimation, we would not bother her.  The worst part is that now she is divorced and back home,” said a father.

 

Another groom’s uncle narrated another such incident, when his nephew walked away from his own reception and got married to someone else. “Why do injustice to the girl who married him? She just broke down on the stage.”

 

Purnima Nagaraja, consultant psychiatrist, Dhriti Psychological Wellness Centre, said, “Parents are always overprotective and only want the best. There must be regular communication between children and parents.”

 

When it comes to children, parents are always overprotective and want the best for them at all times. But, such incidents leave a deep scar. There must be regular communication between the children and the parents and latter must make a little more effort if they find anything secretive or suspicious.”