Disaster management in a relationship

Show you’re better
Actions, as the old adage goes, do speak louder than words. And if you came off as pretty bland on your first date, nothing might convince your date more that you have hidden depths than say if you had a chance to rescue a litter of kittens from a burning barn. But burning barns and suffering kittens aren’t always that easy to come across, so you might have to settle for something a little less spectacular. After you’ve apologized for the disastrous time your date had, respect his/her boundaries. If he/she doesn’t feel comfortable going out with you immediately, try to be a good friend. But do show in a subtle way that the two of you could be together if you tried emphasise your common interests, meet with a group of friends so the pressure is not on you to sustain the interaction, let your behaviour towards others and in a given situation show why you’re actually a pretty good bet when it comes to the dating game.

Laugh off the episode
So Murphy’s Law would dictate that you embarrass yourself completely and utterly just when you’re going all out to impress your date. But humour can be a great way to diffuse any awkwardness the day after. Your fake eyelash fell on the table just when you were leaning in for a bite? A lighthearted quip along the lines of “Was I fluttering my lashes at you a little too hard last night?” might help assuage whatever embarrassment you might be feeling. It also proves to your date that you’re the kind of person who knows how to see the humour in even frustrating situations and we all like that kind of person. Be careful though, that your jokes don’t stray into obnoxious territory yes, we mean your trying to pass off a less-than-stellar kiss by saying, “I’m an acquired taste”.

Call in the troops
So you may not be your date’s favourite person in the world, especially if you messed up bad the previous night. Here’s where having a mutual friend, someone who wants the best for both of you, put in a good word for you might help. If the friend is someone your date trusts as well, it’s far more likely that he/she will give you a second chance. Your friend can highlight why’re good for each other, and also explain why your behaviour during the date is not par for the course when it comes to how you otherwise are. Chances are your date will view you in a much more favourable light after this feedback from the friend.

Sincere apology
There’s almost no situation a well-phrased, heartfelt apology doesn’t alleviate. Whether you ventured into the conversational equivalent of no man’s land, or dropped wine all over him/her or even spent too much time replying to work messages on your cell phone, a sincere apology will definitely win you brownie points, and make him/her that much more willing to grant you that second date. It’ll also help erase any misconceptions that he/she may have formed about you, based on that one awkward interaction, and let you explain what went wrong.

‘It wasn’t me!’
If all else fails, claim that it wasn’t you at all it was your identical twin whose single object in life is to play a prank on you. If he/she doesn’t buy that, try Defense 101 you were part of a government behaviour control programme that went horribly wrong and hope your date is a conspiracy theorist who lives for moments like these.