Chetan Bhagat's books are 'half marijuana'

I’m an author. My first novel was a best-seller — in that, I tried my best to sell it. My second novel, Under Delhi, is actually doing well though. I’m as surprised as you are. As a voracious reader — there’s nothing better than to be in a bookstore and see someone buying your book. Of course, there’s nothing worse than walking up to someone, touching their feet screaming, “Royalty Baba ki Jai! LET ME AUTOGRAPH! I’m AUTHOR OF BOOK!”

Of course, its sales are nowhere in the league of a certain Mr Bhagat. Which, I don’t mind. I have nothing against him. A lot of authors do. Their complaint? “Oh, he’s such a sellout. His books are terrible. Where’s the depth?” Which basically means, “Why is nobody reading my book about the depth of a ceiling fan seen from the perspective of a Bengali militant in a dystopian Orwellian future where Usha Fans are Maoists?’

Chetan Bhagat writes OK books that are entertaining. In his own words — he’s competing with films. And, if you’ve seen Bang Bang, Kick or Happy New Year — you know why he’s winning! Good for him. At least he’s getting people to read! He’s like Literary Marijuana. You know how people say marijuana is a gateway drug? You first smoke marijuana. Then move up to snorting cocaine. And, then finally inject yourself with heroine? (But, enough about how to make it to The Lakme Fashion Week.)

That’s Chetan Bhagat: he’s a gateway drug to more reading. You first smoke Half Girlfriend. Then move up to snorting Harry Potter. And, then finally inject yourself with some Great Gatsby. Hardcore Chetan Bhagat fans are shocked right now, “What a moron this Pant guy. Great Gatsby is a movie, idiot. Not a book. LOLZ.”

Mr. B is getting people to read and that’s awesome. And, he’s no idiot — he’s had repeated frustrations with women and knows how to sell it! Many people love his books – which is absolutely fine. But, if you say: “I LOVE reading. My favourite author? It’s Chetan Bhagat.” You don’t love reading. You love Marketing. And, honestly — there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m glad you’ve started doing drugs!

Sorabh Pant is one of India’s top comedians and the founder of East India Comedy. He’s also an author and his second novel, ‘Under Delhi’ is out now. It’s an angry/funny story of a woman fighting crime in Delhi. If you enjoy his writing: do pick it up!