Cabbages & Kings: Perception vs index

Top five countries named as the most corrupt are Cambodia, Burma, Zimbabwe, Burundi and Syria

Update: 2014-12-06 01:10 GMT
The absence of India from the corruption hit-parade will be regarded with scepticism by very many Indians who have in one way or other been stung by bharashtachar.

“The mango’s flesh is fragrant
And fragrant were her charms
And mingled with her incense
The sound of chanted psalms
The Karela is bitter
More bitter is deceit
And she must swallow bitter draughts
Before God’s judgment seat… “
From The Wicked Psalms of Bachchoo

Transparency International has published its list of the least and most corrupt countries in the world and guess what, India doesn’t figure in the top 20 of the least or most corrupt.

This certainly prompts one to examine the criteria which Transparency International uses. Their analysis demonstrates that they have weighed up the incidence of a hundred different types of criminal activity from bribery, money laundering, financial nepotism and the influence of mafia-type organisations on economic activity.

So though that sounds fairly thorough, the omission of India leaves one suspecting Transparency International has found the skeins of evidence of black money and cash banked by Indians in secret accounts and property abroad rather opaque.

If such evidence has been hidden from all authority it’s possible that Transparency International hasn’t found a way to penetrate, expose and take it into account while formulating its league tables.

The absence of India from the corruption hit-parade will be regarded with scepticism by very many Indians who have in one way or other been stung by bharashtachar.

Not ever having sold or bought land or houses and never having applied for a licence, or the monopoly of a broadcasting wavelength in India, I have had no occasion to participate in corruption.

That’s not quite true. I did give a bribe once. Driving from north Mumbai along Mahim Causeway, the strip of road that separates two of the ancient islands of that archipelago, I remembered that I had forgotten something.

Some pressing need made me do a U turn in heavy traffic and very deservedly a policeman on a bicycle swerved into the road and stepped off, causing me to stop abruptly.

He motioned me to drive to side and wind down the window, which he approached. He asked for my licence. I pulled my plastic British licence from my wallet and showed it to him.

He asked if I was aware that I had done a U turn when this was against traffic regulations. I agreed I was guilty of such an offence. “Hmm,” he said, I would have to surrender my licence and present myself in court.

I was about to say that this seemed a rather heavy handed punishment for a minor transgression but then recalled how a friend’s chauffeur had dealt with a similar situation when he had been stopped for using a mobile phone while driving.

I had taken my plastic driving licence out of my wallet which was still on my lap and which the arresting officer was now eyeing with what I took to be an expectant look.

I took out a hundred rupees, crumpled the note in my fist and dangled my hand out of the window. The officer made as if to give me back my licence and deftly took the note out of my hand. I returned my licence to my wallet.

“Now sir, I never asked you for anything did I?” he enquired in Marathi. “No, of course you didn’t. You were just telling me off for doing a U-turn,” I said.

He looked pleased. “Exactly. What you gave, you gave voluntarily,” he said and waited for me to agree, which I did. He waved me on my way.

I don’t know if this copper was resorting to the idea that if he didn’t ask for a bribe, the money that changed hands didn’t constitute one or if he just wanted to pacify his conscience.

I am reliably told by Indian drivers that there is a tariff of bribes for traffic offences and that being an open secret I have in the past suggested to the Indian government that making bribes for traffic offences legal could solve a lot of problems at a stroke.

The government could stop paying salaries to traffic policemen and let their remuneration come from gathering bribes which should be called “instant fines”.

The free enterprise approach would get the police to be vigilant about every minor traffic infringement and would go a long way towards sorting out the traffic chaos on Indian streets.

I can think of ways in which legalising bribery may sort out some of India’s larger problems but let’s leave schemes for implementing this strategy to free-market economists, no-tax advocates and other loonies.

Nevertheless, the index that Transparency International has prepared is interesting in several ways. The top five countries named as the most corrupt are Cambodia, Burma, Zimbabwe, Burundi and Syria.

The combined gross national product of these countries is probably less than that of a few Indian states and the corruption involved in say, Burundi, would probably amount to the black-money transactions on some new flats in Mumbai.

It is also worth noting that places such as Dubai and Mauritius, which are used by Indians and others to launder money or dodge tax, don’t figure in the top 20 corrupt nations either.

Transparency International’s strictures seem to be reserved for the transactions carried out within a country while ignoring the “corruption” involved in receiving ill-gotten gains.

If the receivers of corrupt money were to be indicted, would Switzerland be near the top of the list of offenders?

Another obvious fact is that all the countries in the top 20 most corrupt are either Asian, Central Asian, African, South American or West Asian. All the countries listed in the top least-corrupt countries are European and include Australia and New Zealand.

To see in this a racial divide or propensity towards dishonesty is possible but not intelligent. The fact that Somalia, Libya, Syria, Afghanistan, Turkmen-istan, Uzbekistan, Haiti, North Korea and Burma figure in the top 20 baddies should tell us that chaos and the failure of states is one prerequisite for corruption and the other, looking at the last five of these countries, is nepotistic dictatorship.

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