Feeling under pressure?

Just relax, and enjoy the ride

What’s the point of being with a woman who knows just what she likes in bed, and how to please her partner, and well, not being pleased? There’s a tendency to over-analyse how to deal with her experience, how to ensure she isn’t bored, how to make the right move at the right time  instead, how about just laying back and actually enjoying the ride? Now, we are by no means suggesting that you be lazy, complacent or the kind of douche who thinks a woman has to jump to do his sexual bidding.

But occasionally, it would be fine to just follow her lead and trust  her better understanding of how your bodies can respond to different things. At the end of the day, if she understands that you’re not just with her for what she can do for you, but also what you can do for her  she’ll be more than glad to teach you a few things.

Do, but don’t try to outdo
Just because you believe she’s tried every sexual position known to humankind, doesn’t mean that you should feel the pressure to match up to her by doing the same. Yes, you should certainly push your boundaries and try a few new things, positions and places that you’ve never felt daring enough to, before. And you should certainly leverage her experience to your mutual benefit  navigating sex that goes beyond the mundane and missionary.

But always keep in mind that the goal here, is to enhance her pleasure and yours  not to have some kind of contest in sexual one upmanship, which has you ticking off what you’ve done together against a mental checklist of what she’s done before she met you. The same goes for trying out new sexual tricks or games in bed. Don’t let the motivation be trying to outdo everything she’s ever done in bed (or out of it) and make yours the most outré coupling she’s ever experienced. Focus on being the best that you can be for her, try to ensure her satisfaction, and you’ll anyway count among the best she’s had.  

Be assertive

Just because you’re the less experienced partner in this relationship doesn’t mean you have to be the less confident one as well. You can’t let the fact that she has more experience than you intimidate you, or give you a hang-up about how you compare to her other sexual conquests.

Being less experienced also does not mean that you cannot be the one to take charge of your lovemaking. A man who knows what he is doing in bed is arousing to most women, as is one who takes charge. it’s up to you to find a way to learn from her experience to make the sex between you a whole lot better  and not looking like an utter greenhorn or novice while doing so. Sounds tough? Trust us, it isn’t really.    

Get your move right

What’s the one thing you really want her to remember you (and stay with you) for, when it comes to the bedroom? You may find it tough to match her experience, so don’t make the mistake of trying to be good at everything. Pick one signature thing that you can really work on and do very well  it needn’t even be about the actual intercourse.

It could be the way you kiss, or give her a sensuous massage or the praise you heap on her for the way she makes you feel in bed. Being incredibly good at one thing may also give her the impression that you have more experience in the art of pleasing a woman than you really do, and that’s a turn-on. So go on, give her a happy ending

Don’t get hung up on numbers

Does it make you uncomfortable that she’s had way more sexual partners than you? And just how much does it weight on your mind? Society is programmed to accept greater promiscuousness from men than women, and unless you’re one of the truly enlightened souls who couldn’t care a fig’s leaf for who has more notches on their bedpost, this is an issue you’re going to have to work out for yourself. Remember, this was before she met you, and if she’s with you now, clearly those men didn’t have what it takes to keep her interested.

That’s your challenge, and one you have to show that you can rise to meet (no pun intended). You shouldn’t be asking her for “numbers” to begin with, but if she trusted you enough to divulge that information, an honest discussion is in order if you find that it bothers you.