Gift the right gift

Have you come across the term “Deadweight loss”? Economists have coined the phrase to define the mismatch between what a gift giver thinks a receiver wants and what the receiver actually wants. The upshot being, the receiver thinks that the gift is worth much less than what it actually is.

And to be honest, all of us have been through this at some point in our lives, as a giver as well as a receiver. Blogger Penny Fleming in travelopinions.word-press.com says that the exchange of gifts is a key part of many cultures, but what you give is as important as how and when.

For example President Obama’s gift to Prime Minister Gordon Brown — a collection of American movie hits — was considered a gift-giving gaffe. Should the president have picked better movies? Included a DVD player? Thrown in some popcorn and a microwave?

To scale it down to you and I, all of us have given and received gifts that could have been better thought out. To give a few examples, you do not gift a vegan a book 101 Ways to Cook a Steak; elementary. Or something personal, like lingerie (if you do not know the person really well, that is) or perfume.

Experts say that before deciding on a gift, ask yourself, “what do I want the gift to convey?” According to designsponge.com, one needs to keep a few things in mind while giving and receiving gifts.

A gift is not always required

A lot of people feel pressured into getting everyone gifts for holidays like Christmas, Diwali etc. That can lead to gift buying (and money spending) that doesn’t necessarily need to happen. A genuine, heartfelt holiday card can go a long way toward serving the same purpose of a gift and can be a much better answer when you don't know enough about the person you “have” to give a gift to.

…But a thank you note is

If you’ve received a gift from someone, a thank you note is a given — whether or not you liked the gift, or the recipient. This rule, however, does not apply if you are the unfortunate recipient of a prank or gag gift.

Remember the recipient

The biggest mistake people make when buying gifts is to buy what they would like, rather than what the recipient would like. If your brother really loves sports T-shirts, for example, buying him a fancy suit because you think it would look good on him, isn’t the most thoughtful thing to do.

Gifts should not be tit for tat

Most importantly, gifts should not be a contest or an obligation. We don’t give gifts in order to receive one in return or we do not have to give one just because we have received a gift from someone. That said, if there’s a tradition of gift giving and someone seems to skip you each time, then perhaps it’s time for a conversation about the state of the friendship, etc.