What women don’t want in men?

Hello readers, it is a New Year but I am back with my same old rant. My resolution, is to stay put and not change anything till it is broken, which includes my bones. In the meantime, expect more epiphanies, revelations, and insightful gains from wasting your time right here. This New Year, let me tell you what I as a man have figured out. No it isn’t what women want, I don’t think even women have a handle on such things.

They may know what they wanted or what they will want, or what they wish they wanted, but they too don’t have a clue as to what they want. Mind you, it is not an easy one to answer even for them; as it is linked to other deeper questions like what is the meaning of life, why are we here, and will pink lipstick make one look fat? But what I want to discuss is: what women don’t want. Qualities that women don’t seek out in a guy they wish to be with.

Men have a different set of requirements from women they wish to be out partying with in their 20s and then suddenly seem to go all traditional when it comes to settling down, women too have a similar code. The only difference is that the qualities that women say they are seeking in a man before they commit are exactly the things she doesn’t want to see in him once they are a couple.

Take sense of humour, for example. Women all over the world are eloquent about how looks don’t matter and all girls want is a guy who makes them laugh. Well, once the guy has laughed his way into her heart, women wish his sense of humour away and nothing would please them more than for their guy to be the most boring man in the room. For if it got them it could attract other women too, and given their new status, that could be potentially lethal.

Similarly, a guy who can sing well should cease once he is with someone. And so on. Any inherent talent that a guy may possess should henceforth be limited to the confines of a room which has only two occupants  him and his lady. Outside of this a guy shouldn’t indulge in anything that could damage his relationship.

So that is what women don’t want. But even as women wouldn’t want their guy to be a star strutting his stuff, they do want him to be the most successful man in the room. This dichotomy may be tough to understand, but women know the shortest road to success and they put their man on this golden fast-track so that he can quickly gain his riches and consequently stop working all the time.

This would allow him to dedicate more time to appeasing his lady instead of slogging away trying to make ends meet. In short, crafty crafty women. Nevertheless, thank you.
The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine