Household help or yelp?

You might imagine yourself to be the queen of your fiefdom (read home) with servile serfs at your beck and call. You just have to look up and your maid in waiting jumps to fulfill your wish. If only wishes were horses, because forget about maid in waiting, maids these days certainly keep you waiting. Gone are the times when they danced to our tunes and were unquestioningly obedient.

It’s time for a reality check now. Today, the hot topic of discussion at social soirees is not your latest holiday, but how your cook has taken off to his village in Bihar and you are desperately rediscovering your kitchen. And you actually say a little prayer when he returns with a smirk after you’ve made those innumerable unanswered calls to his village. You have to resist the urge to say anything offensive lest he walks out in dramatic Rajesh Khanna-style from Bawarchi (the actor played a temperamental, but good-hearted cook in this 70s film).

Welcome to modern India, where the dynamics of the servant-master relationship has undergone a sea change. Perhaps, the word servant itself is politically incorrect today. Staff or household help is the more appropriate terminology. Manjusha Maheshwari, a luxury brand consultant based in Bengaluru, says, “You have to appreciate the fact that they are as aspirational in their own field as we are in ours. What we can do is help them achieve their goals through both monetary and emotional support so that they intrinsically become a part of our homes and lives. I feel the days of feudalism are over and we have to look at creating more equality-driven demographics for these people.”

Gone are the days when servants referred to their masters as ‘mai-baap’. Today they simply call you didi or bhaiyya. And it’s our turn to grumble ‘baap re baap!’ for they will not apologise even if they are fault. So you swallow your pride and forgive them or they will pack their bags and walk right into your neighbour’s home. Good neighbours become frenemies when they brazenly lure your reliable driver who knows all the short-cuts and routes or the super-smart maid who spouts a smattering of English. But she sure knows her worth and wants auto fare too. Ask her to sweat it out in local buses, and she will pout and walk off in a huff. In times of inflation, they are smart enough to offer their services at a premium price.

Mumbai-based fashion designer Amy Billimoria appears to be a blessed lady who sings a happy tune. “I have been lucky with my maid. She takes better care of the house than me. It is important to keep the house help happy and give her perks. We haven’t had to pay for yearly vacations, and neither has she demanded any, but we do make sure we pay her medical bills. Very recently she caught dengue and we took care of everything. I think it’s high time we gave them the respect they deserve.”

Well, we don’t really have a choice today. Because let’s face it, we have exploited their poverty, paid them peanuts and got away with it. Now we can blame it on the idiot box which is not so idiotic after all, as it has taught our maids to follow in the footsteps of their western counterparts. Finally, our domestic help has learnt to fight for not just their rights but rates too.

Delhi-based jewellery designer Radhika Jha says, “I have lived in Dublin for a very long time and there the system was quite convenient; the helps would charge 10 to 12 euros on hourly basis and were verified by agencies. Here in India, the verification system needs to be more streamlined as I have faced a lot of maid issues in the past. The two main problems I have faced are that the maids come with fake identification and are not hygienic by and large.”

Sure we can crib till kingdom comes about our maid woes and even form a Maid Anonymous club and drink ourselves to near death. But fact is that this pan India problem is largely self-created. And we are finding it difficult to cut the umbilical chord of dominance and accept the fact that those who serve us have their demands too. This largely stems from our feudalistic approach, where house help were part of our homes and yet not treated as part of our lives. Today they demand respect and walk away should we treat them insensitively.  

Vandana Virwani, Bengaluru-based entrepreneur, firmly believes that “you should treat your staff like your children. You have to nurture them, guide them and yes, while you may pull them up when they make mistakes, you need to make up by being nice to them. In India, we have a condescending attitude towards our domestic help. We need to treat them like human beings and take care of their needs. My maid Jayamma has been with me for 23 years and the rest between 10 to 15 years and they are like my extended family.”

The dynamics of give and take are clearly involved here. Treat them with affection and they will respond with sensitive gestures. Delhi-based designer Sagarika Mittal Goyal recounts the time she fell ill. “My two maids have been with me since the last three years. Once when I was very sick, they observed a fast for me and that was such a heart-warming gesture.”

She also has a youngster and a driver working for her and adds, “I treat them to an occasional movie outing and their favourite meals on Sunday. We recently employed my driver’s son, a graduate, in my husband’s factory’s administrative division. Since Delhi summers are hot I make sure they have air conditioning in their rooms. As I believe only a happy person can deliver the love and care we expect from them.”

Are we going the Western way where soon house help will be a privilege only the very wealthy Indian can afford? Sumi Thomas, who runs a content solutions firm in Kochi, seems to be moving in this direction already. Sumi confesses that she is now happily ‘maid-less’. She says, “Most of them do pretty much what they please even after being given instructions on what is to be done. The last maid I had was a part-time one who came in for two hours, cleaned the home and did laundry. One good point was that she was very honest. But after she did not turn up for a week in November without informing me and I had to give her the full salary of Rs 2,500, I asked her to leave, writing off some money she owed me. I had a vacuum cleaner which I upgraded and now the entire family pitches in to help with the household chores and we are one happy family.”

So treat your house help right and pay them what they deserve or, to put it bluntly, what they demand. Or you will be left washing the dishes and sweeping the floor for the rest of your lives. Karma has a way of biting back!

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Rates in upmarket areas
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• In Bengaluru, the rates for maids are as follows:Rs 6,500 for four hours, Rs 10,000 for eight hours and Rs 15,000 to Rs 20,000 for live-in help. As for nannies, be prepared to shell out Rs 25,000 for new-borns.  
• In Delhi the general rate for a part-time maid is anywhere between Rs 2,000 to Rs 8,000, Rs 10,000 to Rs 16,000 for four hours, Rs 12,000 to Rs 65,000 for 24 hours and it includes medical and education perks.
• In South Mumbai part-time help for four hours is Rs 1,500-Rs 2,500. For eight hours, it is Rs 3,000-Rs 5,000. Rates for live-in maids are approximately Rs 10,000 with perks like paying for the kids education. While the rates might appear cheap, in Mumbai the culture is to hire several maids as the roles for household chores are clearly defined.