BJP to beef up its strength in Bengaluru

Bengaluru: If somebody calls you on Thursday, babbles incomprehensibly and hangs up, don’t get irritated. Just give a missed call back. Who knows, you could be in for a treat. A kilo of beef and a bottle of booze, to be precise!

If your appetite has been whetted, here’s the thing: The BJP’s national executive meeting begins at a five-star hotel in the city on Thursday. But party president Amit Shah has decided it cannot be business-as-usual.

Instead, since the party has no internal matters to discuss — PM Narendra Modi and Mr. Shah are in full command- except enlarging itself to become bigger than the Communist Party of China and the total number of Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp users combined, it is learnt that Mr. Shah has directed all attendees to call up all the phone numbers they can, say something unintelligible, and hang up quickly.

As soon as the anxious person rings back, BJP workers will enroll the person as a party member. As a reward for ‘voluntarily' signing up, Mr. Shah has allegedly directed the hotel to send a kilo of beef and a bottle of bubbly to each person that gives a missed call.

Party sources said, it was Mr. Shah’s ingenious idea to kill two cows -- oops, birds with one stone -- enroll more people to the party as well as cleanse the hotel of all its sinful beef and booze, anathema to the BJP’s Hindutva ideology while the party’s holies are at the humble abode, starting today.

Last heard, the hotel will impose a ban on meat and alcohol during the saffron party’s three-day party.

(And don’t forget today is April 1. Happy Fool's Day.)