Rahul ‘the boss’

What on earth is Rahul Gandhi on? Seriously! This is new, uncharacteristically belligerent “avatar” of the mumbling-bumbling fellow with a shifty gaze, who visibly wilted before the studio lights, during a TV interview. Well, just about a year into the new government, led by Narendra Modi, our man Rahul, is behaving like Attila the Hun in Parliament. This is exactly what the doctor ordered, crow his Congress buddies. In fact, the doctor had prescribed this treatment years ago, but our Mr Gandhi had chosen to ignore it... till something heavy probably hit him on the head. And bingo! The guy is now on a roll.

Mr Modi is on his sweet and sour dhokla trip to China. Perhaps the Chinese will promptly adapt traditional Gujarati cuisine and offer tourists from the Indian Prime Minister’s home state a range of new delicacies like thepla manchurian. During Mr Modi’s absence, his annual report card is being put together by Modi watchers/critics/admirers/haters/ baiters. Across the board opinion has been pretty consistent — disappointingly, Mr Modi hasn’t earned a distinction in a single subject, nor does he qualify for a gold medal in extracurricular activities. His performance is being compared to that of an enthusiastic, diligent student, cramming a brand new, intellectually daunting subject — national-level administration. Mr Modi can be accurately described as the “Student of the Year”, but citizens are definitely underwhelmed by his achievements so far.

Is it our fault that we pitched expectations from this administration to unrealistically high levels? Nope. Not at all. With a dream mandate like the one the BJP won, the people of the country naturally nurtured high hopes. It wasn’t about miracles taking place. Nor did anybody expect Modi the magician to pull out rabbits from a large hat. His “Swachch Bharat” campaign was a hit, but his reluctance to step in when assorted swamis, maharajas and sadhvis made the most “un-swachch” disturbing remarks, had people believe he was not his own person.

In such a space, if an individual (Mr Gandhi) who had been written off for years, suddenly emerges from behind Mummyji’s starched saree “pallu” and starts holding his own, adapting the hectoring style of the Congress bête noire (Mr Modi), it leads to multiple eyebrows getting raised. In the good old days of Bollywood, when heroines weren’t today’s empowered, confident leading ladies surrounded by burly bouncers in public, they were accompanied by “Mummyjis”. If someone dared to pose a question directly to the leading lady, there was a standard response from the coy actress — “Ask Mummy.”

Mr Gandhi used to sound like Sridevi during her hey days. Suddenly, the Congress vice-president has emerged as a Deepika Padukone clone, boldly and bravely declaring “My choice’’, much to the amusement of political stalwarts in Parliament.

Imagine how lively parliamentary proceedings are going to be during the Monsoon Session. We can look forward to a direct “panga” — Mr Gandhi taking on Mr Modi. Quite like the Paterson vs Pacquiao bout. The irony of Mr Gandhi’s “suit-boot-ki-sarkar’’ is not lost on anyone. True, Mr Gandhi shuns the “suit-boot” look when he visits India, but what about his jijaji, Robert Vadra, who wears a mean tux whenever he can? And who are these suit-bootwallas in the BJP? I thought the dress code was strictly Modi-inspired — the predictable, unflattering bundi-kurtas? But let’s hand it to Mr Gandhi — he has found his voice at last. Bollywood newbies should hire Mr Gandhi’s Hindi coach and dialogue writer. His lines are getting better and better (“Agar yahan nahi rok payengey to sadak par rokengey”). Mr Gandhi is taking the fight to the streets, which is pretty daring for a man appears far more comfortable walking around Via Veneto in Rome, than Janpath in New Delhi.

“Relax, Mom!” said Mr Gandhi (47) to Sonia Gandhi (68). With those two words, he declared himself “the boss”. The handover couldn’t have been smoother or cuter. Now let’s wait for Mrs Gandhi to say, “Ask Rahul...” when asked for an opinion. The baton has finally been passed. India — beware!

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