A new path to Parenthood

When Sushmita Sen adopted a baby girl 19 years ago, deciding to walk the path of single parent at age 25, it was something unheard of, especially in Indian society. She showed women and aspiring parents a way quite removed from the conventional one.

Today, not only single women, but single men and gay couples too are opting for adoption and surrogacy. While they are fulfilling their dreams of parenthood, they are also changing the dynamics of a traditional family. The latest to follow in the footsteps of Karan Johar and Tusshar Kapoor is TV czarina Ekta Kapoor. Her recent announcement of entry into motherhood with a surrogate child has opened up an all new chapter on the prevailing dynamics in the modern family.

Speaking on the liberal approach towards parenthood, relationship expert Nisha Jamvwal says, “Ekta made a mark, ensured that she was a successful producer, and took the path of parenthood, without wanting to get married. Just as Karan Johar, did. The conventional order of having children and then having a career has changed. Today its achievement, career, satisfaction, children and then last of all, marriage.”

When Ekta’s nephew Laksshya was born in 2017, Tusshar’s parents Shobha and Jeetendra Kapoor were delighted with the new addition to their family and had said in a statement, “We could not be more excited to be grandparents to Laksshya, and are completely supportive of Tusshar’s decision. This is certainly a tremendous blessing and an exciting time in our lives.”

Despite the change in the conventional roles in parenting, a strong support system in form of parents and friends is filling the gap. The current generation is more comfortable with being parents than getting into a marriage they don’t believe in. Priya Warrier, a clinical psychologist says, “I think the whole thing has new meaning because you have the younger generation today not believing in marriage, so the institution of marriage in the cities is more or less failing as most people are equating financial stability with emotional stability.”

Pointing out that even in a traditional family, practically only one parent brings up the child, Nisha says, “One parent has always brought up the child. Very few cases have both parents taking equal responsibility, especially in India.”

She continues, “I think it is love and bond of friendship and nurturing and it’s perfectly fine because 90 per cent of children always have the concentration of one parent. And I don’t think there is going to be a psychological effect on the child, because you do have grandparents, friends, and the women or a man may have a partner if not husband or wife. As long as there is mentoring, nurture kindness, I don’t think a child who doesn’t know the existence of another parent would ever feel the dearth.”