Unravel the cheat code

Beyoncé’s rapper husband Jay-Z finally admits to cheating in his new upcoming album 4:44. The couple has been going through quite a rough patch for the last few years with Beyonce even dissing her husband for having an affair with “Becky with the good hair” in her 2016 album Lemonade. But interestingly, the singer gave birth to twins just two weeks ago. Keeping the marriage intact with the help of kids seems a lot like an Indian approach to saving a sinking bond. 

While psychologist Kinjal Pandya thinks that there is nothing wrong with working towards mending a broken relationship, assuming an unborn child can save a failed relationship is quite a selfish approach. “When two people don’t get along, it is wrong to get a kid into the picture because you are adding one more life to the mess that two adults have created,” she says. 

Relationship expert Chetna Mehrotra staunchly believes that when a third person is made to enter the equation, the dynamic is already broken. “There’s a reason people go looking for things outside of their relationship — they no more are getting what they expect from their relationships. In such a scenario, when you think a baby can save the relationship, it is wrong,” she says, adding, “There is immense pressure on the baby and the mother.”

Chetna explains that with failing relationships, sometimes even a fully grown child cannot mend things, so a brand new baby will not only come with pressures but also a lot of new responsibilities that can get taxing and make things  worse. “When a child comes into the picture, the couple intends to stay together for the sake of the child, but sometimes the differences between the couple are so messy that it’s difficult to reconcile,” she says. 

While there might be several other ways to save a marriage than introducing a new child in your life, Kinjal thinks that the couple needs to first figure out where they are going wrong. “When two mature adults realise where they are going wrong and despite the issues want to stay together, they can find a way and figure it out,” she says. Knowing what you want from the marriage is the first step to reconciliation. 

That said, she also thinks that monogamous marriages are sometimes not everyone’s cup of tea. “Sometimes, people aren’t meant to be in a committed relationship. In this case, the couple can unanimously decide to opt for an open marriage or go their separate ways,” she concludes.