'I am a limelight moth!', says Kamal Haasan

“The first reaction when scholars praise me or call me a friend, is a mix of pride and secret embarrassment. In my mind, I always wonder if they know I am a high-school drop-out or are they being kind despite knowing that fact? Then I realise all the pride about my art can be attributed to the company and letters I keep,” says Kamal with a grin. Does that mean he cultivates intellectual company? “I gravitate towards my more cerebral friends, who would not be obvious about it, but would teach me. Those are the friends and gurus who came to my mind when I was chosen for my service to arts and letters,” Kamal says.

Recalling a tale, the actor says, “I remember being a front-line volunteer, when the Chennai film industry decided to celebrate Sivaji Ganesan’s Chevalier award with a grand function. After the function, we wanted to escort him back to his car quickly — but love knows no boundaries or black-cat commandos! Despite the melee, a lady managed to dodge the security and stood with her hands folded in a namaste to Sivaji at a vantage point, with  glistening wet eyes. Then she turned to me and shouted — ‘The next honour will be for you. Looking forward to it!’ and disappeared. I thought of that lady when I was informed of the news — this Chevalier seems to also be what my people have desired.”

After receiving the letter from Monsieur Alexandre Ziegler, the French Ambassador to India, Kamal first informed family, “I showed it to (my life partner) Goutami and my daughter Subbu; then sent a copy of the letter to my elder brother Chandrahaasan and my elder sister Nalini. I also sent messages to my daughters Shruti and Akshara.” He adds that most of his well-wishers insisted that he was so deserving a person, which led to the melancholy of fame hitting him — “Most artists suffer this, at least the thinking kind. They think of the more talented who died without such adulation, and find themselves fortunate to have jumped a long queue. I thought of all the above,” he says. But he gets awards all the time! “I never get bored of awards and accolades. I am a limelight moth and my journey is towards the hottest point in that light!” he says.