Bade Miyan Chote Miyan: A Sci-Fi Spectacle Spirals Into Chaos

Movie: Bade Miyan Chote Miyan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Manushi Chhillar, Alaya F., Prithviraj Sukumaran, Pitobash,

Direction: Ali Abbas Zafar

Almost at the end of the gruelling experience of a seeming sci-fi dealing with terrorists, a character screams: “Give up guys, get out.” This is unwittingly the most honest moment of a film that decidedly goes berserk at the very start, and with every passing moment only gets more bizarre. Yet another reality check is when a character declares: “The problem is your regressive thought!” This prescription is obviously good as a dialogue and does not include the filmmaker, Ali Abbas Zafar.

‘Bade Miyan Chote Miyan’ has nothing in common with the earlier film made with the same name except that both can be recommended for viewing only at the risk of one’s reputation. At least in the earlier case, you had Govinda with an impeccable sense of timing in the comic scenes. There is nothing worth recommending this time over.

BMCM becomes the codename to the defence forces to recover ‘Kavach’ which contains the algorithm for an artificial intelligence (AI) product that can clone two eternity soldiers. The product is in the hands of a masked villain who comes with supernatural (for our convenience, super-scientific) powers to attack, destroy and create mayhem in a manner perceived by Craig Macrae, the western stunt director now coming to our cinema often. In fact, two (too) long prologues bring us to ‘Bade Miyan Chote Miyan’: the first is how the troops are destroyed in green dust in the midst of ice-clad mountains. Tanks, bikes go for a six and reach Himalayan heights till the powers-that-be including Azad (Rohit Roy) and General Zaibli see a larger conspiracy. Thus, to bring back two court-martialled officers, Firoz (Akshay Kumar) and Rakesh (Tiger Shroff). Some assessment of our forces! We need two officers who have been shown the door and are out of touch. The other day, it happened in ‘Yodha.’ Why only them?

Prologue 2: These two operatives mastermind the escape of an Indian ambassador and family – captives in a plaster of Paris township called Shaktobad in Afghanistan. Arguably, with the best in the trade in daredevilry and mindless destruction, not to mention dance, banter and one-liners.

Firoz and Rakesh are unofficially brought back on the mission to save the country from this larger-than-life-or-logic Mr Mask. The two can of course be mean destroyers. Mr Mask multiplies and adds in the business of Armageddon. He also arranges a meeting of delegates from China and Pakistan to discuss a ‘double attack.’ What has Mr Mask against India? His pet research project was abandoned at the instance of the High Command. We have a lady officer in Captain Misha (Manushi Chhillar) and some nerd compu-crazy support in Pam (Alaya F.). We get a peek into the Oxford University and its celebrated library.

There is this ad-nauseam repeat of the ‘jail biryani’ narrative – such a fig leaf referral in the structural context of the film. We move from Shanghai to Afghanistan to Delhi to Longewala base to London to unnamed headquarters that could well be the ‘launch pad’ for human destruction in a fine sync between gadgets, arms and transmission lines in a deserted area. We also have ‘eternal captive’ Priya (Sonakshi Sinha) in a miniscule role.

This orgy of juvenile delinquency juxtapositioned with a brewing scientific warning on AI is not just a movement from Google to Chat GPT. It threatens to open the Pandora’s box of the final war and the assured last page on human history. Dead guys come alive with the case of Ekta Kapoor’s ‘Kasauti Zindagi Ki’. The car crash and exploding jeeps started with Firoz Khan’s ‘Apradh’ reached new heights, literally and figuratively, with the advent of Rohit Shetty. Yes, the Kabir Khans, Siddharth Anands, Atlees, Ramesh Sippys have all pushed the envelope but Ali Abbas takes the ‘Tiger Zinda Hai’ menu one large leap forward with this epic of devastation ranging from ‘Armageddon’, ‘Poseidon’, ‘The Titanic’, and the impossible: ‘Independence Day.’ Many blushing with a ‘BMCM’ ticket in their hands.

There is no point in talking about the acting department. It would legitimise a certain stance, a certain approach. It was Herman Wouk, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of historical fiction, who said after the Holocaust: “That eternal benchmark of barbarism, let us remember, was set not by a Third World country, not by Orientals, not by Muslims, but by the Germans, an advanced European nation. The evil in human hearts knows no boundary, except the deeper, stronger human will to freedom, order, and justice. In the very long run, that will so far has prevailed. Now, it is the destiny of America – for all its faults and weaknesses, the greatest free society in history – to lead the world against a grim outbreak of evil, a savage stab at the core of freedom on earth, a dark, shocking start to a new millennium.”

Well, a quarter into the millennium (no longer new), the responsibility is ours too. We claim from rooftops our love for peace alongside our preparedness for war.

Dealing with the enemy, the protagonist more than once says: “Kutta toh poora pagal ho gaya hai.” The diagnosis may cast shadows outside the script. Think before we contribute to the success of such cinema. To quote from the film itself: “Neeyat kaabiliyat se badi hoti hai.” Intent is more important than talent.