Tradition of love

Anil Kapoor’s daughter and producer–stylist Rhea Kapoor had taken to her Instagram stories recently to address her fans and followers that she and her newly wedded husband Karan Boolani don’t celebrate Karva Chauth. She even went on to criticise the many who called her silly for not doing this.

“Hi. Happy Sunday. Respectfully please don’t reach out to me for karva chauth gifting or collabs. It’s not something Karan or I believe in. We respect other couples who partake and can even enjoy the festivities while they do. It’s just not for me. Or us. So the last thing I want to do is promote something I don’t believe in and don’t really agree with the spirit it comes from [sic],” Rhea’s story caption read.

The stylist with very strong opinion on the matter went on to add, “For now I feel like if we take care of ourselves and each other we should be good. I only write this because it seems random strangers feel the need to aggressively convince me that I’m being ‘silly’, ‘have to do it’, ‘it’s my first’. No, thank you. Let’s move on? If you read this thank you for giving a sh*t. I hope you enjoy your Sunday [sic].”

Celebrating love

Sasha Rawal Bajaj

Karva Chauth has always struck a chord in my heart since I was very young. I’ve grown up seeing my mother perform all the rituals with utmost dedication, and I always knew I’d do it all when I was meant to too. I think it’s the most traditionally romantic gesture that a woman can perform for her man. I know some consider it old-school, but to me it has an inexplicable charm. For me, it’s a reminder of how much I love my husband and the lengths I’d go to for his well-being.”
— Sasha Rawal Bajaj, COO at Kunal Rawal

That much-needed pause in life

Shweta keerthi sethia with her husband Akash Sethia

This is my third Karva Chauth. I’ve grown up watching my mother do this, so I’ve been very excited about following this tradition. I love all the gifts I get at the end of the fast from my husband and family. But what I love most about this day is that my husband and I, who are usually totally up with our own daily lives and work, always make it a point to spend the entire day together. Beginning from the dressing up in ethnic Indian wear, which we don’t do very often, to the excitement of keeping a lookout for the moon — it all adds up to making it a day with lots of fun.
— Shweta keerthi sethia, Co founder Purple Martini events and Akash Sethia businessman

JUST not for me

Rhea Kapoor

“Respectfully please don’t reach out to me for karva chauth gifting or collabs. It’s not something Karan or I believe in. We respect other couples who partake and can even enjoy the festivities while they do. It’s just not for me. Or us. So the last thing I want to do is promote something I don’t believe in and don’t really agree with the spirit it comes from
—Rhea Kapoor, Anil Kapoor’s daughter and producer–stylist

The ritual of Karva Chauth has become a bone of contention for many in a generation that respects equality and values traditions, ensuring that the practices they follow are in accordance with their beliefs. But even as many women have started choosing not to celebrate Karva Chauth, there are couples like Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli, Divyanka Tripathi and Vivek Dahiya, who’ve been making this a shared celebration by fasting together for each other’s long lives.
We spoke to the modern Indian women about what this tradition means to them.

Traditions of love, a sleepover and moon-sighting

Dr Rummy Azad MahendraI believes Karva Chauth symbolises a wife’s love for her husband. I started partaking in this ritual since I got married — next year, it’d be 25 years of my celebrating the occasion. Traditionally, the sargi is offered to you by your mother-in-law, and sweet is in an inherent part of it. One starts preparing for Karva Chauth a day before, starting with getting mehndi on your palms and hand, buying/choosing bright coloured bangles to match the outfit you choose to wear on the day.
“Over the years, my Karva Chauth has become more of a sleepover. I go and bunk-out with my friends and we all wake up together in the morning and eat the sargi together. Then, we go about doing our bit the whole day. While I get back to work, I know some women take the day off and spend the time playing cards, watching movies, etc. By evening, all of us then get back together in one of our houses and do the Karva Mata puja, which has to include seven married ladies and has to be completed before sunset. We exchange our plates as songs play in the background. Then comes the fun part, when it’s the time to sight the moon; you have to look at your husband through the sieve and do the puja before breaking the fast by drinking water, which your husband offers you.”
— Dr Rummy Azad Mahendra, Dentist

All the fun and decking up

Renu Siraj's Karva Chauth preparations

Some of my friends come and stay with me and it’s a lot of fun. We have someone who comes home to do our mehndi patterns. On Karva Chauth, we wake up at 4 am, start the day with sargi, or the food that’s meant for the fasting because you do not eat for the rest of the day and go without even water until we get to see the moon. During the day, we may even call up friends who’ve moved to other cities.
“In the evening, before sunset we have friends come home for the evening puja, which is really colourful. Everyone who arrives is dressed, quite like what shows in Hindi movies and TV shows. After the puja we all sit and chat until the sighting of the moon. Then, we get back to our respective homes and sit down to eat with our respective husbands. I find it to be a lot of fun. I remember the huge get-togethers that happened for the occasion back in my mum’s home. Now, by God’s grace it happens in my home too.”
— Renu Siraj, Architect

A lure that brought on a ritual

Ajita Yogesh

I am a South Indian and I never really believe in the Karva Chauth fasting; instead, I believe it is love that matters. But after watching the romantic story between Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini, which played out in the 2003-film Baghban, my husband thought we both should do Karva Chauth for each other, and to coax me, he said he’ll buy me something. So, the lure of a diamond necklace made me start partaking in Karva Chauth.
“However, being a South Indian who’s not used to the ritual, I wasn’t aware that once you start doing the fast, you’re not to discontinue it. And so, I’ve been continuously doing it after Baghban. But it’s not a big festivity for me — in fact, it’s just a usual day. I go to work, come back home and do a small puja and wait for the moon. No fancy dresses. In fact, this is the only day through the entire year when I fast; otherwise, I don’t even follow any fasts or rituals. That’s Karva Chauth for me.”
— Ajita Yogesh, Director, Hamstech Institute of Fashion and Interior Design

Into it for life
I got married this year. But I come from a South Indian family and I realise that the way Karva Chauth is observed has changed over the years, and every generation celebrates the essence of the festival in their way.
“So while last year, when my now-husband Akshay Saraf and I were only engaged, I’d still taken part in all the Karva Chauth rituals with other women. I even did the ‘nirjal’ fast in praying for Akshay’s long and healthy life.
“Now, I don’t fast on the festival, though I really admire women who do it year after year for the well-being of their family. When everyone is busy with their hectic schedules these days, I just enjoy having people over and reconnecting with them during the celebrations.
— Anokhaa Raghu Saraf, Business Development Manager, Roopa Industries

All the rituals void the fasting

Preeti Khandelwal with her husband Ravi Khandelwal

For the first few years as a newlywed, I’d wake up before sunrise, eat, get back to sleep and woke up again. Did the ‘nirjal’ fast (a fast without even a sip of water) and then got dolled up in the evening to see the moon through a sieve and after that, funnily even touched my husband Ravi’s feet. Then came in the two pregnancies, and water was replaced with milk and fruits.
“There was even once when travelling by train, I did the moon-sighting through the train windows with a picture of Ravi in my hand. But Ravi never liked the idea of me staying hungry for him, so once he fasted for me. But he’d be angry every time I fasted. Finally, I imagined there was no point in keeping the fast for a person who was so unhappy about my doing it, so for the last few years, I’ve not been partaking in the fast but the rituals and festivities continue.”
— Preeti Khandelwal, Company Secretary & CFO at Tibbs Frankie