Making it work

Raju and Anshu Buddhiraju, two friends of mine, are both bankers. They met at the bank, fell in love and married each other. They remain a happy couple till date. Another set of friends who found each other at Dentistry school, on the other hand, soon found that they were getting on each other’s nerves until they decided to work at different branches of their clinic to give each other space.

Marriage of partners in the same profession can be a challenging situation, but some sail through to lasting happiness. Some friends in the hotel line marry through hotel management school and tell me how they prefer to marry within their profession and even in the same company. Their partners are more accommodating to erratic timings and more empathetic to work fatigue.

They also swap each other’s shifts if there is a crisis at home and are able to cover hours for each other. There is no space for suspicion and explanation and there is a lot of sharing and caring which is integral to a relationship. The same situation can, however, turn upon its head in the entertainment industry, for example. There can be cause for mistrust, temptation, insecurity or worse.

When I think about a couple working in the same organisation, I worry about salary comparisons and competitiveness too. I’ve seen couples drift apart due to one triumphing and the other feeling demotivated. I’ve seen many loving relationships end on a bitter note.

From personal experience, I’ve seen more energy and excitement when partners belong to different fields. There is that special zing to a relationship where each brings different core competencies to the table and comes home to a fresh atmosphere.

The most important thing in either scenario is to deal with all issues with love and equanimity. Of course, discord and disparity can grow in any relationship. But giving in, understanding or empathising with each other’s viewpoints can go a long way towards ensuring harmony both at home and at work. Mutual respect for each other’s feelings is the fulcrum to the mechanism of a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

In the case of couples who work together, the pros of a companionable working relationship far outweigh the potential downsides of being in the same professional zone. Love does conquer all. To help it embrace its maximum intensity, one must do whatever it takes to keep it going smoothly and positively. Use whatever route works for you, but remember to always respect your partner, no matter what issues crop up between the two of you.

Do not let work dominate home, and do not let home dominate work. They are two distinct physical as well as emotional spaces, and any overlaps can be very dangerous not only to your relationship, but also to your growth as an individual. If you derive comfort from a partner in your own profession then make sure that you give them comfort too.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com