Retirement blues for parents!

Several youngsters’ parents are around the age of retirement and some are probably retiring this year. Retirement can be stressful and the environment at home would be a bit tensed making youngsters and spouses completely helpless. We spoke to experts to find out how youngsters can help their retiring parents and understand their woes.

Parents even tend to succumb to depression and their behaviour tends to change due to frustration. We work on a list of things youngsters can do to help their retiring parents from being affected.

Dr Sangeeta Amarnath, sociologist says, “Understand their passion; it could be anything like good communications skills, help them explore it and pursue their passion. With part-time options available in almost all industries, they can choose their preferred option. One option I can suggest is working for NGOs it gives them a sense of satisfaction.”

Parents spend all their life in giving the best to their kids and it’s now time for youngsters to give back, Sangeeta opines, “Youngsters must equip parents with new gadgets and even turn them into tech savvies. This gives them a chance to learn something new and get rid of boredom.”

Giving us a brief into a retiring parents’ behavioural pattern is Joji Thomas a psychologist he says, “The most immediate result of retirement is a sudden loss of ‘usefulness.’ The effect of retirement is the worst on people who haven’t lived a life beyond their profession. Ones who have only known their worth at work would feel next to worthless once retired life beckons leading to depression and hopelessness.”

He adds, “This is a good time for the youngsters to step up and help parents feel useful and rather important in their life. While a good first step could be a getaway for the entire family, the next could be the child sharing her/his life goals, ambitions, desires etc and seeking their guidance on it. Knowing that one’s child needs your guidance and experience as a guiding light could be a great motivation for any parent.”

Ideating a list of things parents can do he says, “The fact is that there is a lot one can do with their life if they really look at it. Dormant passions if any could be explored. Organic farming, terrace gardens, volunteering for environmental causes and even manning traffic in one’s area or educational institutions are some of the interesting outlets some people have been known to have taken up.”

Priya Shekaran, a 26 year-old from Bengaluru shares her experience. She says, “My father recently retired and it felt like a dark gloomy cloud descended on the family. He was very jovial and playful and all of a sudden he became completely moody. My mother and I felt it extremely difficult to help him because he was a bit frustrated. But, one day I sat beside him and asked him if there was anything he’d always wanted to do and he initially was a bit isolated but later said he always wanted to travel. And, hence we let him explore the places he wanted to go. Now, he’s just too busy for us, haha..”

Retirement life is one of the golden times of your life. Living his life to the fullest with absolutely no regrets is DR Prakash, he shares “I ensure to keep myself occupied, I am an insurance and financial consultant, I closely work with Citizens of Bengaluru and I am an active member of the Resident Welfare association and address issues. I also am a freelance writer. And I give solutions for property tax and RTO related queries online. The service oriented mind and the fact that I want to stay fit is what keeps me on the move. Youngsters must learn to respect your parents and obey them because parents have experience.”