Parental support key to fighting stigma

Chennai: S. Ramnath is like any other 20-something youngster. Being a Thala-Thalapathy fan, his weekend ritual involves watching Ajith’s Vedalam and Vijay’s Puli back-to-back before hitting the bed. He loves syncing lips to punch dialogues and can be found fiddling on his tablet, if you happen to visit his home in Mandaveli. But Ramnath, unlike kids his age, has never experienced the inclusiveness our society has to offer. That his Down’s syndrome condition is a significant factor in this cannot be denied.

His parents, bankers K. Subramanian and Usha Subramanian, recall how as a 60-day old baby, his Down’s syndrome diagnosis had come as a bolt from the blue for them. “I had high dreams of my son. I wanted him to excel in sports, become a super athlete and win awards and such. After the diagnosis, all of that came crumbling down,” said Subramanian.

To get Ramnath to walk, the family had to wait eight years and endure numerous physiotherapy sessions. Then there was the other issue of getting him to talk. His words are still incoherent for a stranger but his parents can figure out exactly what their child is saying.

This sort of commitment was difficult in the beginning. “Even doctors hardly gave us any hope. One paediatrician went so far as to ask why we are bothering with him at all. He told us that our son was an idiot and he was going to end up a vegetable,” said Usha.

But their hearts were set on investing their all into Ramnath’s well being. That still was not enough for Ramnath to be admitted into a regular school. Though there is focus on inclusive education, schools are not open about admitting special children. “Forget schools, even for a neighbourhood yoga class my son is not welcome. Because, and this is always the first reason, other kids would stop coming,” Subramanian added.

Through all this, what has taken Ramnath to the heights that he is right now - he is pursuing a B.B.A degree from University of Madras via distance education - is the parental and familial support. “Parents do tend to handle a special child like the 12th man in a team. Too many parents also make the mistake of thinking a second child will solve the problem, but the truth is that it will only take their attention away from the special child who needs it the most. ,” remarked Subramanian.

“We are committed to our kid’s happiness. Of course, it means we have to sacrifice so many things for ourselves. There is no scope for socialising but we will not have wanted our lives to be any other way,” added Usha.