We remain cruel to our kids

Chennai: Kavya (name changed) was in class 5 when her mother died in a road accident. Since then her father insisted she stay with him in his room and sleep next to him, clad only in her undergarments.

Every night she would find her father’s hands on her. To her questions, he would say he was simply checking if she had fallen asleep. And he threatened her by saying he would pack her off to a boarding school if she did not sleep quietly.

“I could not sleep and developed deep stress. My studies suffered. Everyone blamed me. This went on for years. It took me sometime to realise my father was actually abusing me at night. Those nightmares refuse to go away, the scars have stayed”, says Kavya, now a graduate.

Kavya’s is not an isolated case; in fact, the shamefully shocking stats from the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) say 94.8 per cent of child sexual abuse during 2015 were by persons closely known to the victims. The bureau also reported that 14,913 cases were reported under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act (Pocso) Act during the year; sadly, Tamil Nadu ranked third with 1,544 cases. And the most disturbing element in the bureau data is that year 2015 saw a distressing 67 per cent jump over the previous year’s figure.

Some say that one reason for this could be that more people are reporting abuse now than before.  “There is now increased awareness about child sexual abuse, so more people are coming forward to file complaints”, says Prof. Gladstone Xavier, head of the department of social work at Chennai’s Loyola College.

Despite child abuse being a universal tragedy across generations, parents have been careless in leaving children in the care of relatives, friends and neighbours who ended up abusing them. This misplaced trust on the part of the parents and the victim’s silence even in his/her suffering turn out as ‘double-advantage’ for the perverted perpetrators. When the abuse comes to light and if it is found out that a known person was the villain, most cases go unreported because of family/societal pressure, fear of social stigma and lack of awareness of legal process.

Also, often times, children do not realize they’re being abused till later stage in life by which time it becomes too late to ensure that the guilty got punished. This sad reality underscores the critical need for clear and simple education for the kids on these issues. “Children must learn how to be safe, to identify and avoid predators. They must able to distinguish genuinely affectionate touch from the lecherous groping. Teachers and parents must learn how to identify signs of abuse and provide counseling. Parents should also know how to protect their children”, says Dr Vijayan, child psychologist.

Sadly, our medico-legal system aggravates the emotional and psychological trauma of the victim instead of extending empathy. “Cases got delayed and I know of a case some years ago where a child victim kept coming to court for hearings and by the time she got justice, she was married and even got a kid”, said noted rights lawyers Ms Sudha Ramalingam. “And the police would not record abuse complaints and often scare the victim-families that complaining would scar the child’s life forever. Fortunately, the victim is now more protected post-Pocso as these cases are dealt by the Mahila Courts, which provide privacy and security to the victims while being examined as witnesses”.

Child rights activists argue that the government should step up efforts to not just increase public awareness through advertisements, seminars and workshops on child abuse but also sensitise the police, the lawyers and judicial officers on dealing with the victims. It is important to have a monitoring system to punish officials found to be ineffective and insensitive in handling child abuse cases. “Delay in dispensing justice adds to the trauma. There are cases where the victims got married and had children too, yet were attending the case proceedings”, says Jospehine Sagayam, social activist.