Child marriages: Parents go by the prevailing practice

KOZHIKODE: Deprivation  and the prevailing practices in their  native places force most parents to marry off their daughters before they are 18.  “There are multiple reasons for early marriage   though parents know it is illegal. Many mothers having a second husband perceive marriage as a safe option for their daughters of  the first marriage.  Men will  agree for the marriage if the girl is good looking. Also,  early marriage is the practice in local areas,” says Dr R. Preethakumari,  child marriage prohibition officer, Nilambur.

The youths who seek  under-18 girls mostly fall in the age group of 21-22.  When the child marriage becomes a norm,  girls studying in higher secondary classes would be tempted as their ‘engaged’ classmates get  mobile phones and other valuables from their men and they also agree for the marriage. “All know that it is illegal which would affect the girl’s future. But  society is yet to accept it, though significant improvement has been made over the years. Now, more girls open up  before child counsellors  and we  inform the officials,” said a teacher in a higher secondary school at  Edakkara near Nilambur.

Edakkara  integrated child development services   supervisor K.T. Maimuna told DC that the girls would not get ideal grooms if they  are aged  above 20. “Only men who opt for second marriage would accept girls above 20. This is the worst fear factor for parents,” she said.

‘I want to save her, but I have no voice’

Jumaina, 32,  (name changed) in Nilambur still nurses  the scar she had suffered from her marriage at the age of 16.  She was married off to a much older man whose job or native place was unknown to her. He visited her occasionally and disappeared when she was pregnant.  She gave birth  to a  daughter and a couple of years later, he returned and became her ‘husband’ again without mending his ways.

“That generation was like that. It was all marriages before 15, that too with older men who came from Mysore or elsewhere.  We, the hapless women, could not  know the details of our husbands. I suffered for long silently. He disappeared for ever after the birth of my son,” Jumaina told DC.    Jumaina decided to eke out a living on  her own instead of opting for a second marriage unlike many other women in the area.  “I started a tailoring shop and am living out of that,” she said.

Now Jumaina’s daughter is 16 years old and  ‘fit for marriage.’   “I want her to continue her study and get employed.  She also desires  that.  But I am not sure whether I can save her as  important decisions are taken by my brothers,” she added.   She cannot overrule her brothers as they helped her a lot to get over her difficulties. “Preaching is easy. But breaking the societal norm is a big task.  All mothers in this area will be worried if their daughters  do  not get married before 20,” she pointed out.   “Malappuram’s increasing number of domestic violence cases and the birth of  a  number of differently-abled children are linked to  child marriage,” observed district child protection officer, Samir Machingal.