Farrukh Dhondy | If Trump thinks he’s losing, will he quit the race? What’ll be next

The poor blind dear

Would constantly shed a tear

Saying ‘why have I become the one

To be the victim of a stupid pun

I really have no idea’!”

From Paagal Pan, by Bachchoo

Two Americans with whom I was exchanging political platitudes said that most Indians in the United States vote for the Republican Party and would in November endorse Donald Trump.

Though bowing to their absolutely superior familiarity with this sort of statistic, I interjected asking if this was because most Indians who are granted American citizenship and the vote are either traders, Silicon Valley wallahs or some form of professionals or bourgeoisie?

No, they said, even the Asian taxi drivers, of which there are many, will vote for Donald Trump. I wondered aloud whether this was because most of the Asian taxi drivers of big cities, say New York, are Pakistanis and wouldn’t vote for Kamala Harris because she is half Indian? Besides, I contended, the Asian taxi drivers, even if they were Indian, were not numerous enough compared to the professionals and Indian middle classes who might feel their economic interests were better served by Republican inclinations and policies.

The argument was turned on its head when I recently read an actual statistical poll of Indian-American intentions in the coming election. Though I myself have never been inclined to vote for, say, Rishi Sunak, simply because we share Indian origins, the poll set out to ask Indians how they would vote on the assumption that Kamala Harris’ half-Indian origin might influence their answer.

The statistic was simple. Fifty per cent would vote, they said, for Kamala – no reasons of policy or ethnicity given. Twenty or so per cent said they were definitely Trumpeteers, and the rest were still undecided. If indeed all those undecideds took shelter under the Orange Wigwam, then the statistic is fifty-fifty. But that’s unlikely.

As i said, I have never understood why diasporic Indians -- or those with Indian origins -- who attain high office abroad command the attentions, jubilation and the congratulations of Indians in India, from Prime Minister Narendra Modi to the rickshaw driver in Agra. Perhaps blood or the common gene pool is thicker than thick skulls.

That being said, perhaps some in the Indian government thought that Hedgie Sunak, being a firm Brexiteer, which withdrawal went towards ruining the British economy and lowering living standards for the average Brit, would be fair game for Indian trade agreements and deals profitable to India.

I doubt if very many Indians in India have heard of Suella Braverman, though it may be a fair bet to say that some Gujerotics will certainly have heard of Priti Patel and would be jubilant that she at some point held government posts -- regardless of the fact that her work in those roles was wasteful, reactionary and, in my biased opinion, a regrettable disaster. She formulated the disastrous “send the asylum seekers to Rwanda” policy, attempted to curtail free speech, made off-the-cuff deals with Israel when she had the foreign portfolio -- do I need to go on… I only have nine hundred words?

Neither do I think that anyone in India gave two false pice when Hamza Yusuf assumed the leadership and the First Ministership of the Scottish National Party. He was the first Muslim to be head of Scotland and, since there is a fellow feeling among Muslim co-religionists in several nations of the world, perhaps the congratulations poured in from Iran, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

Or maybe none of them noticed or cared.

At this point, gentle reader, I have to admit that I am extremely happy that Kamala Harris is half-Indian and half black and is a little ahead in the polls. Of course, I hope that she wins and becomes the first female President of the United States and, of course, the first non-white female … but really, all those “firsts” are irrelevant. If a pantomime horse stood against Donald Wigwam for the presidency, my good wishes would be with the cloth nag!

The result of that election and the future of the USA and its relations with the rest of the world, quite reasonably, pre-occupy a lot of the commentariat space.

The chatterati of the UK are appropriately absorbed. I wonder if the Indian chapparatti are just as engaged?

One American commentator said something rather surprising. He said that if Donald Trump fell way behind Kamala Harris in the opinion polls by October, he may feel that facing a second defeat is not what he can countenance and he may pull out of the race. This is, as the world would agree, the most unlikely scenario as Trump is so egoistical that if and when he loses, he is bound to challenge the result as electoral fraud and even to instigate a repeat January 6, 2021 insurrection somewhere, but this time on a much larger scale.

The commentator who said he would step down was of the opinion that he would rather be feted as the great Republican who resigned and get the plaudits as he left, than to face defeat a second time.

This is discernibly pure fantasy. If Wigwam resigns, who replaces him as The Republican candidate for the presidency? With a few weeks to go before the election? Even if a scrambled candidate is put in place, what will the MAGGA (Make America GaGa Again) movement do? Storm Trump Towers?

Fun! Hey Bhagwan… just bring it on!