Farrukh Dhondy | Of Labour, Tories and a storm in a teacup in Britain over racism, MPs

But is the sound a curse, or does he pray

To God complaining that if every dog

Can have one, why can’t donkeys have a day?

They say, O Bachchoo, cat’s can look at Kings

And there are angels who, like birds, have wings

Why do they need them, they’re above the skies?

Perhaps we humans believe stupid things?”

From The Rubaiyat of Holika, by Bachchoo

“In this teacup of a country called the UK, an important almighty storm has broken….”

Suppose, gentle reader, that the sentence above began one of my weekly columns. Would I, then, be labelled as a “countryist” for calling the scepter’d isle a “teacup”?.

I pose the question because the above-mentioned storm that has broken out is to do, in the highest ranks of the governance of this precious stone set in the silver sea, with the interpretation of the following quote:

“It’s like trying not to be racist but you see Diane Abbott on the TV, and you’re just like I hate, you just want to hate all black women because she’s there, and I don’t hate all black women at all, but I think she should be shot.”

This, The Guardian reported, was what a capitalist called Frank Hester, donor of 10 million pounds to the Tory Party, said to a private gathering in 2019.

Regardless of the fact that the Guardian’s news desk seems a bit slow off the mark (2019?), the nasty statement was this week labelled a “racist” slur.

This condemnation came from a shadow minister in the Labour Party, a colleague of Dianne… err no… hang on -- NOT a colleague at the moment, as Dianne, an East London MP, is at present suspended from the Labour Party for… err… racist anti-Semitism.

Nevertheless, the Labour Party leader, Sir Keir Starmer, the person who suspended her from the party, spoke this week after the Guardian’s report, very strongly in her favour, calling Hester’s words “racist”.

In contrast, as the media pointed out, Hedgie and the Tories remained schtum. Until… until Kemi Badenoch, a Tory Cabinet minister, of Nigerian origin and so, like Dianne, a black woman, spoke out calling Hester’s remarks “racist”.

Hah! Immediately, Hedgie’s No. 10 spokespeople joined in, condemning Hester’s diatribe as just that. Could this response from Hedgie have anything to do with the fact that this Kemi Badenoch is an open rival challenging Hedgie for the leadership of the party?

What an absurd thought! Hedgie’s hesitation was owing to not insulting a huge fat-cat Party donor. Ten million pounds! Conscience? What the f*** is that?

Competition for the leader’s post -- we feel it, we feel it!

Frank Hester himself, at first, denied that he was a racist. “Racist? Me? How dare you! Some of my best friends are racists!” (OK, he didn’t actually say that, but he could have, when he publicly apologised to Dianne for his 2019 remarks).

The question is (said Alice), can you make one word mean so many different things? The answer, as Humpty Dumpty well knew, was that you could. For me, gentle reader, Hester’s vicious nonsense should be condemned as “racist” though it doesn’t seem to be a slur against every person of colour -- but then “mind of the beholder” and all that! I’m fine with calling his statement “racist”, but for me the absolutely more serious allegation is this exhortation that Dianne ought to be shot??? Isn’t it?

British MPs are the regular recipients of hate mail and of threats of rape and murder towards them and their families, on their phones and on the social media. Two MPs have been murdered by trolling maniacs.

Dianne has a right to complain and to protection from the State.

Why was she suspended from the Labour Party? It was, ironically, about the definition or perception of “racism”. She wrote a letter to the Observer newspaper which said that black people suffered a form of racism all their lives which the Irish, Jews, travellers and even people with red hair did not.

Jewish organisations called it anti-Semitic and, though Dianne apologised, she still remains suspended.

Dianne, whom I am acquainted with, is a colourful character in several ways. The first black woman MP and a great advocate of socialist institutions, she brought an avalanche of contemptuous criticism on herself when she sent her son to a fee-paying public school.

As shadow home secretary, she appeared on a radio programme and got extremely muddled and said her party in power would recruit thousands of police and pay them 30 pounds a year. She immediately retracted and placed the figure at 8,000 pounds -- another blunder from an arithmetically challenged potential home secretary.

Now there are calls for the Tories to return the 10 million pounds to Hester. I disagree. Why should he get his loot back? Hedgie should use the money instead to start an arts fund for black and Asian playwrights and pay them generously. Yes -- great suggestion!

Dear Hedgie and Kemi:

I am an Asian-British playwright and have a brilliant play featuring a black and an Asian character in the dramatic society of a London prison… No? Well maybe you’d prefer a play in which Boris Johnson introduces the serial killer Charles Sobhraj to a Daily Telegraph journalist called Mike? That would put the boot into BoJo…? No? Well then... I’ve got these monologues….