Shobhaa De | Tu Cheez Badi Hai Musk Musk… Trump on a roll
Hallelujah! Civility has staged an unexpected comeback on the sullied stage of American politics as the bombastic bluff-master, President-elect Donald Trump, shook hands with President Joe Biden at a cordial White House one-on-one meeting at the Oval Office, adhering to a tradition he himself had crudely shunned when he lost the race to Mr Biden four years ago. The two men participated like mature adults, in a ritual that has emotional significance for American citizens -- a peaceful transfer of power. There they were behaving themselves in front of the fireplace and making nice! Wow! Given the slanging matches they have indulged in during the nasty campaign (perhaps, the nastiest in the history of democracy), with Mr Trump referring to his opponent as “Crooked Joe” and Mr Biden insisting that Mr Trump should be “locked up”. Significantly, Melania Trump was conspicuously absent, breaking away from the standard practice of the two wives chit-chatting politely over tea, leaving the men to sort out the problems of the universe.
Mr Trump was stumped. But never one to miss out on a comeback, he responded to Mr Biden’s welcome by saying: “Politics is tough… in many cases it is not a nice world, but it is a nice world today.” Hurrah. A chastened, new improved Donald Trump? Who knows? The world is holding is breath wondering what the Mad Man will do next. The answer is quite simple -- nothing! He will present a brand-new version of himself, shrewdly throwing his critics off balance. Remember, there is a method in his madness. He has won an overwhelming victory by playing to the galleries. He spoke their language. Mirrored their thoughts. Effortlessly mowed down the opposition with his bulldozer, bully boy tactics. His stupendous win was based on a single premise -- no outsiders! Throw them out -- keep immigrants away! His supporters roared and cheered -- this was music to their ears. Imagine the irony of it all -- America was created by immigrants, for immigrants. His own wife is an immigrant. And hello!!! Mr Trump’s biggest trump card happens to be an immigrant too! First Buddy Elon Musk is effectively going to be running the show, and that is scaring the hell out of global leaders. Elon Musk is the most powerful man on earth right now and it is Mr Musk who will be calling the shots. Megalomaniac Trump himself sounded like a love-struck fan boy of the tech tycoon when he gushed: “A star is born -- Elon! He is a special guy. He’s a super genius…” And wait for this -- “That’s why I love you Elon”. When was the last time Melania heard such a gushing declaration of love from her besotted-by-Musk husband?
The dodgy-sounding DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency, if you please) seems to have been created by Mr Trump especially for Elon Musk. With Mr Musk in the hot seat, radical “reforms” are likely to be introduced, starting with slashing federal spending by $2 trillion. Countless heads are likely to roll, while the Musk-Trump (in that order, please) combo goes ahead aggressively, to implement ambitious “reforms”. Meanwhile, Mr Musk is laughing all the way to the bank, with Tesla shares riding up by 15 per cent, smoothly adding $25 billion to Mr Musk’s kitty. Oh… the media has been taken care of by Mr Musk, who boasted to his followers via his mouthpiece, X: “You are the media now.”
This may be the most terrifying threat issued so far. The American media has egg all over its face right now, especially the smug, self-styled intellectuals who had staged a savage war against Mr Trump, only to eat crow when all their predictions turned out to be totally wrong. So many of the high-profile late night talk show hosts and stand-up comics who’d gone after Mr Trump night after night had no place to hide after his thumping victory which included winning the popular vote. Yes, a convicted felon, with multiple charges against him, managed to win over the vast majority of his countrymen, who didn’t give a damn about his terrible track record or reputation. The big-ticket celebrities who publicly ridiculed Mr Trump and trashed him ruthlessly, also destroyed the myth about star power winning votes. From Oprah Winfrey to Taylor Swift with their combined media domination, they still didn’t manage to dent Mr Trump’s march to the White House. The only celebrity endorsement that mattered in the end was Elon Musk’s. Mr Musk will function as the de facto V-P in the Trump administration, which will leave J.D. Vance gnashing his teeth. No matter, us parochial desis look forward to seeing the lovely Usha Chilukuri as she negotiates the shark-infested waters of politics, with her “meat and potatoes” guy. The one who was “heart sick” for her and knew the way to win her over -- by cooking a vegetarian Indian meal for Usha’s mother. That leaves us with the “other” desi -- Vivek Ramaswamy -- and Mr Trump’s controversial “Manhattan Project”, which will propel the Musk-Ramaswamy machine into overdrive at DOGE. India is already sensitised to the gravity of the situation vis a vis our experience with lateral entry. The 250th anniversary of America’s Independence falls on July 4, 2026 -- Mr Trump’s deadline for the DOGE, and the two billionaires in charge of it. Leaders across the world are nervously monitoring the project, given its association with the original -- a top-secret US project to beat Nazi Germany in the atomic bomb race.
Meanwhile, joining Mr Trump’s spy universe as Director of National Intelligence is “Russian asset” Tulsi Gabbard, a former Congresswoman and the first Hindu member of the House of Representatives who identifies herself as a Gaudiya Vaishnavite. The plot thickens!
Kamala Harris displayed her best side in defeat! What a shame she didn’t reveal her most positive character traits while she staged her 107-day campaign, and disappointed staunch admirers with her lack of depth and that awful “hyena laugh”. Her tearful, heartfelt speech conceding defeat was dignified and poignant: “My heart is full today…”, she said, her voice breaking. “The light of America’s promise will always burn bright… and my service to the nation will continue.” Well said, Kamala! If only she had tapped into this approach, perhaps she would have made a small difference. Very small. Because Only Trump could claim the throne with our line from Sholay: “Mere pass Musk hai….”