Let our Sisters in Arms' lead the way in 2019

Kolkata, the city of seething opinions… and the real home of all argumentative Indians and closet revolutionaries, is strangely silent, almost evasive when it comes to Didi — the feisty and formidable chief minister of West Bengal. Nobody wants to express a candid opinion and everybody wants to stay on her good side. This was evident at a very chi chi dinner party in the city, on the very day Mamata Banerjee had hosted her big bash for Opposition leaders representing 22 parties and holding diverse political beliefs. Didi’s coming out party was like an overcooked Kolkata khichidi… but not half as delicious as the original. The Bengali khichidi is a complete and utterly satisfying dish — it requires no additional items on the menu, when served piping hot on a cold winter day. It is a palate tingle all the way! Spicy and richly textured. What Didi’s motley crew was served was a tepid and unappetising mish mash. But what do you expect when the hostess who had created it does not relish too many flavours herself! And thinks she is the main “tadka”.

Locals used the rally as an excuse to skip work and stay parked in all those fancy Kolkata clubs they seem to prefer to their own homes. The Bengali aversion to any form of physical exertion (not counting puchhka eating), is well known. Since every second Bengali is either plotting a revolution or believes he/she is already in the thick of one, it is a tad disappointing to note how Didi has tamed even the most fiery critics. It’s a choice between jail, public flogging, raids… or silence. Most have opted for silence.

Didi has clearly decided to go for the big kill — the top job in India. She is ready to do to the rest of the country, what she has done to West Bengal. This being a family newspaper, I will refrain from spelling it out. Given Didi’s temper, nobody is protesting or complaining. Talk to anybody and the person will only sing Didi’s praises. “See how clean Kolkata looks — just like London!” Errrrr… ermmmm… okay. The City Of Joy has been cleaned up. No denying that. And it does look rather pretty, especially in the late afternoon light. Besides, as loyalists pointed out, Didi’s rally went off seamlessly, without a single untoward incident. This is quite a feat, given the numbers. Traffic management was smoothly and efficiently managed, with nobody being inconvenienced. All the brown sahibs and memsahibs who stayed indoors and had generously given the day off to chauffeurs, talked in fruity accents about the “transformation”. Yup. Didi’s “Poribartan” is acknowledged as a reality, and is now being unleashed on the rest of India. The elite folks of Kolkata are slowly but surely falling in line. Even Didi’s most strident critics are bending over backwards to woo her coterie and make amends for past sins.

Didi as PM may scare the hell out of the rest of us who don’t live in Kolkata and worship Mamata Banerjee. But for the average Bengali attending the mandatory “adda” with buddies in and around Victoria Memorial, it is already a done deal. What Didi wants, Didi gets! Her administrative skills are gushed over by fawning minions. Nobody questions how Didi gets things done — there is method in her madness, they say. Okay. Whether this madness will work across India, remains to be tested. If such an eventuality does take place. But why should we feel nervous? I think of Didi as Narendra Modi in drag. Temperamentally, they are pretty similar. Their work style matches. They both loathe critics and criticism. They know exactly what is to be done to and with those who oppose them. Their names taken in vain, come with a hefty price tag. Their political rhetoric is impressive — well, ask the followers. They are ruthless and swift in suppressing dissent. Both prefer to think in their mother tongue — and then attempt a Hindi version for the speeches. Unlike Narendra Modi, Didi has simplified her sartorial choices to simple, handspun white sarees. But like Mr Modi, she is a master at positioning and branding herself. Both she and Mr Modi are married to their political ambitions — nothing and nobody exists outside that bubble. Modi’s highly embarrassing “jadoo ki jhappis” will be missed — cannot visualise Didi grabbing and embracing foreign heads of State with the same gusto. But… who knows?

It certainly looks like India may have a female Prime Minister next. There are several hopefuls in the running. Mayawati being the top choice as of now. And one with the highest chances of bagging the post , if the math falls into place after all the horse trading and maara-maari. Purely going by numbers, and nationwide awareness, she is streets ahead of Didi. She has more money as well! Now it’s a matter of who gets into bed with whom. Politics is all about hugging strange bedfellows at the opportune time. I love this scenario the most — two seemingly heartless women — affectionately called Behenji and Didi by their followers — in a race to grab India’s “gaddi” and show the world the real meaning of “Girl Power”. Let our “Sisters in Arms” lead the way to polls 2019, I say!.