Why so much of hair splitting over a split
What? Why? Why now? Will it be reversed? These were some of wild screams that were heard in social media as everyone tried to figure out the reasons behind the decision of music legend A R Rahman and his wife Saira Banu to part ways after 29 years of togetherness. Though the news came to public notice through social media, the manner in which social media dealt with it, dissecting the life of the couple, much to the vicarious pleasure (should it not be grief) of the consumers, was intriguing. Of course, in a culture that celebrates ostentatious weddings for days by moving from one venue to another across the continents, divorces, too, will get some traction, naturally.
Yet the manner in which all sorts of people were seen expressing their views and judging the people concerned with the split was, to put it mildly, vulgar. Breaking into a spiel over what he saw as a tragedy, a grieving presenter turned sarcastic against the lawyer, Vandana Shah, who made the revelation that not all was well with Rahman and his wife. The suggestion was that it was the lawyer who was orchestrating the break up and that she was specializing in the art of separating couples. Well, anyone will know that the lawyer lives and practices in Mumbai and it was Saira Banu who would have approached her with the ‘problem.’ But without an iota of knowledge on the ‘problem’ the random guy suggests that it was not the way to get it solved.
That guy, who blamed it all on the lawyer, however, was kind hearted for he wanted the couple to reverse their decision unlike the countless others who were just pointing fingers. Watching the plethora of YouTube channels having nothing but the divorce story, spiced with speculations, hearsays and personal prejudices to run for days, I wondered if we, as a society, should be so obsessed with a celebrity’s personal life. True, we have a long tradition of peeping into the lives of achievers, artistes, rich, powerful and successful people for a variety of reasons. While the predominant reason being the proxy gratification, there are other excuses like such stories being aspirational. But dwelling over a purely personal matter like divorce at such lengths with no regard for facts and truth is a sad commentary on the prevailing pattern of news dissemination and consumption.
Another nightmare of stardom that came to light in the latest episode that has gained the contours of a controversy is that haters and detractors enjoy bludgeoning a celebrity with unrelated cudgels when they are already bogged down by a personal problem. To put it otherwise, Rahman’s earlier averments in various public forums expressing his love for Tamil is now being mocked at by some who have suddenly discovered that his wife is a Gujarati who does not speak Tamil. An old image of ‘Tamilanangu’ (Tamil goddess or angel) that Rahman shared to show his commitment to the Tamil cause when another controversy, stoked by Union Home Minister Amit Shah by calling people to speak in Hindi, was raging in the State was circulated with an obscene intent.
That visual of the imaginary Tamilanangu – a dark woman dancing with her slightly curly thick tresses left open and holding a spear with the Tamil alphabet Zha on the top – was shared by Rahman on his Twitter page in 2022 and it went viral with several thousands of people retweeting it. Now that Tamilanagu image is juxtaposed with a photo of Mohini Dey, a bass guitarist in Rahman’s musical troupe who leaves her curly long locks loose. What those people want to convey through the juxtaposed images is that Tamilangu was inspired by Mohini Dey. Poor guys, they found out that Mohini Dey and husband Mark Hartsuch, a saxophone player hailing from the US, came out with a joint declaration that they were splitting, the day after Rahman’s separation was announced by his wife.
So, the gossip brigade put the two different announcements together to come up with the thesis that Mohini Dey was the reason for Rahman’s split, triggering a fusillade of abuses and allegations against the bassist and suggesting that Rahman liked the Tamilanagu image because it resembled Mohini Dey. But advocate Vandana Shah had said ‘no’ when asked if Mohini Dey had anything to do with Saira Banu’s decision to divorce Rahman, which has left those looking for the reason for the split in square one. Only the self-styled ‘know-all’ loudmouths appearing on social media and the mainstream media channels to discuss everything under the sun pretend to have some clue on the divorce and are yapping about it, giving different reasons and blaming either Rahman or Saira Banu.
Whatever be the truth behind it, we know that only a few people are privy to it and they are not going to reveal it. So it is better we keep our curiosity aside and keep quiet. Other than wishing the couple all the best – whether they go their own ways or kiss and make up by responding to the initiatives of close friends and family members who are said to be working on a patch up – admirers and fans of Rahman should not bother about what happens next. It is something strictly private between Rahman and Saira Banu. Let’s allow them to deal with it and refrain from muckraking.