Strength of woman

I  often get told that I’m a very strong woman. I get portrayed as one too, probably due to the decisions I’ve made in life. But I don’t believe it’s anything of the sort. A simple woman is all I’ve been all my life. It’s just that God has been kind to me. Luckily, I was born to a mother who educated me and stood by all my decisions and through thick and thin. Being born into a family where you have supportive parents is sheer fate. And I believe that always helps. Besides, every woman is strong in my opinion. There comes a time when, as a woman, you’re required to be strong, and they step up.  There are a lot of women who live their lives as single, unwed mothers. I was written about only because I was known, and the person I was involved with (West Indian cricketer Sir Vivian Richards) was even more popular. But I want to lay the record straight: it’s not easy being a single mother and raising a child. It’s downright difficult. I went against the norms laid out by society, and it was extremely complicated for me to be in it and raise Masaba. 

Thankfully for me, I was earning and doing my own thing. I often think about and worry about women who don’t work, and are dependent, in a situation like mine; things can get really difficult for them.  I might sound negative, but in a society like ours — or in any country today for that matter — it’s difficult being a poor woman. There’s unspeakable torture going on today, and it’s beyond challenging for them. My heart goes out to these women who suffer daily, because there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s very sad.  There’s an inherent strength in all women, but there’s a limit to how strong one can be when your husband beats you up on a daily basis. If you don’t work, there aren’t many places you can go to in order to get away from it all. 

In my case, I had the backing of my friends and family, and I could work. That made me stronger, but it saddens me that a lot of women don’t have that backing.  If you ask me, personally, I wouldn’t recommend women go down the same route of being a single mother like I did. The reason? Things haven’t changed much in today’s day and age. It was quite tough even in my time and nothing has changed since then. The society is the same and things remain crystallised in time. I won’t sugar-coat it — bringing a child up alone isn’t easy, and single mothers suffer a lot.  I’ve never had any fears about Masaba. I never feared her making the same decisions as me. I’m extremely proud of what she has achieved, and I am proud that she’s so hardworking. 

For me, she’s better than I’ve been in many ways, because Masaba has a never-say-die attitude and she never gives up. She’s prone to being stressed, but Masaba is a fighter. I’ve never been a fighter like she has.  In my opinion, there’s no point in crying about anything. No one likes crybabies. The idea is to be strong, adjust to the circumstances, and make the most of it.  A lot of people appreciated the fact that I posted on Instagram, asking for work. I’m glad I did, and it was all thanks to Masaba. You won’t believe this, but I’ve not had a single day off after the post, and I’ve been working round the clock! Now, I get so much work that I’m refusing work.

— As told to Uma Ramasubramanian