Sandwich Gen Woes

Navigating the rocky roads of financial independence and being a homemaker is not a piece of cake. Imagine the pressure of office work, children’s demands, household chores, and caring for ageing parents. Many middle-aged folks between 40 and 59 years of age (aka (aka sandwich generation) find themselves completely drained while meeting all these responsibilities. Many experience burnout, depression, anxiety, obesity, and diabetes due to exhaustion. However, the flip side sees a well-equipped generation with intergenerational bonding, smart financial investments, and a hunger to aim for personal growth.

Mountain Of Responsibilities

The term 'sandwich generation' was coined in 1981 by Dorothy A. Miller, a social worker and professor. According to a Wealth Watch survey, 50% of women and 39% of men admitted to sacrificing their mental health to tend to family responsibilities. Both men and women in the sandwich generation bear the burden of managing their jobs, financial strain, children's education, and caring for elderly parents.

Moreover, due to high competition, pressure to settle down, and inflation, many millennials below the age of 40 find themselves part of the sandwich generation alongside older adults. Delrina Mohta, a Mumbai-based psychologist speaks of the various mental health issues faced by the sandwich generation, “The constant juggling of responsibilities can result in heightened levels of exhaustion, guilt, and depression as individuals struggle to balance their caregiving responsibilities with other aspects of their lives. It also leads to increased stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed as they try to meet the diverse needs.” She adds that the sandwich generation’s added caregiving responsibilities can exacerbate mid-life crises and financial strain coupled with pressure and uncertainty about their future questioning their life choices.

Pros and Cons

Women are often at the receiving end and increased pressure due to the societal norms entrusting them as primary household caregivers.

Bijal Shah (50), a Mumbai-based homemaker says that she was

sandwiched between her two daughters' education and in-laws' demands, ranging from cooking, cleaning

and offering them food and tea on time. “I had to wake up early in the morning, drop my daughters to school, tend to household chores

and adhere to every demand made by my inlaws with meagre support. Amidst the relentless toil, there was little recognition for my efforts and

I was always questioned for my shortest miscalculations.” Bijal says that amidst the humongous stress and tension, she suffered breast fibroids and uterus removal. She credits her financial independence teaching cooking classes and practising yoga for allowing her to contribute to the house and improve her mental health.

Nandita Kalra, a counselling psychologist and couples and family therapist says, “Culturally, women are

conditioned never to say no, leading to a sense of powerlessness. The society's glorification of caregiving and the pressure on women to multitask further compound these challenges, perpetuating guilt and manipulation." Nandita adds that cognitive reframing, learning to distinguish between made-up notions, rectifying communication and error in thinking and asserting boundaries can help the sandwich generation mitigate burnout and focus on their mental well-being. The cycle of being stuck in the rut of the sandwich generation may not always be a negative experience. Sunil Jaglan, (42) a Haryana-based professor and father of two girls says, “Being the primary breadwinner of the household, I have to care for my spouse, my two daughters and my

ageing mother.” However, Sunil practises walking, gym, and playing badminton to focus on his physical health. “The journey of personal development brings immense positivity, as one learns to juggle challenges and emerges from them with strength.”

Emerging Stronger

The sandwich generation can enhance their mental and physical well-being through various approaches while navigating their myriad responsibilities. Prioritising self-care at the beginning of the day is paramount. Incorporating activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies to alleviate stress and promote relaxation. Seeking social support from friends and people outside of the family can provide an emotional outlet and have a support system. Establishing clear boundaries and learning to delegate tasks can alleviate feelings of overwhelm and prevent burnout.

Alisha Lalljee, a psychologist, special educator and psychotherapist says, “Recognizing and embracing this interdependence can lead to a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in family relationships for people in the sandwich generation. One must understand that it is impossible to meet every need perfectly. Prioritising tasks and responsibilities based on urgency and importance, and seeking help or delegating tasks is very crucial.”

No Respite

• The sandwich generation refers to adults (in their 40s and 50s) who are taking care of their kids and elderly parents

• 71% of sandwich generation is between the ages of 40 and 59, 19% are under 40, and 10% are 60 or older [Pew Research Centre]

• 89% of India's sandwich generation faces challenges juggling roles and keeping finances in order [Cigna Well Being Survey]

• The sandwich generation experiences exhaustion, burnout, stress, and depression caring for kids and elderly parents

Society's glorification of caregiving and the pressure on women to multitask further compound challenges and perpetuates guilt and manipulation.” — Nandita Kalra, counselling psychologist, couple and family therapist

The constant juggling of responsibilities can result in heightened levels of exhaustion, guilt, and depression.” — Delrina Mohta, psychologist, Mumbai

Prioritising tasks based on urgency and importance, and recognizing that it is okay to ask for help or delegating tasks when necessary, is very crucial.” — Alisha Lalljee, psychologist, special educator, psychotherapist