Unique Bonds

Friendship knows no age and class boundaries. Some people forge beautiful bonds that last a lifetime. The nation mourned the loss of one of its cherished gems “Ratan Tata.” Among the many faces mourning the loss of Ratan Tata (86) on Wednesday was Shantanu Naidu (31), Tata’s closest aid, best pal and protégé of the Tata Group as well as the youngest General Manager the Tata Group has had in its history!

The duo’s profound bond epitomizes friendship and the collective desire to bring about a positive change in society. Shantanu bid goodbye to his best pal and “dear lighthouse” via an emotional note on LinkedIn saying: “The hole that this friendship has now left with me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to fill. Grief is the price to pay for love. Goodbye, my dear lighthouse.”

Down Memory Lane

The connection between Shan-tanu and Tata dates back to 2014 when the former joined the company as a novice, seeking help. Who would’ve thought then, that a shared passion for dogs would deepen the bond the two went on to share?

However, some things are simply inevitable and this bond rightly fits the bill here. Shantanu began by embarking on a journey aka mission to come up with ‘glow-in-the-dark’ collars for strays to make them visible to drivers and prevent accidents.

Shantanu, who has an MBA from Cornell University and is the founder of the Motopaws and Goodfellows startup had quite naively reached out to Ratan Tata for monetary assistance for his “pet” project. And to his surprise, Tata responded. He was even invited to Mumbai to discuss this collaboration.

However, the bond that the two shared only deepened with time transcending barriers of age and work. This makes one think of the inseparable bonds fostered among individuals who may belong to totally different generations or age- brackets, yet seem to cross paths and connect in ways that go beyond mere human comprehension.

Unexpected Bonds

Dr Ajay Tiwari, MBBS, DNB, PGDGM, Physician and Geriatrician says, “It’s usually difficult to mingle with generations just above you — especially with parents.” Explaining that it’s a common thing for children to feel resentment towards their parents, with grandparents experiencing similar feelings of timely resentment towards their children as well. However, someone relatively young would always find comfort and warmth with a generation above their parents mainly because that layer of judgement and resentment gets washed away. Dr Ajay also opines that it’s usually easier to open up to unknown people rather than known ones mainly because of the preconceived fear of judgement that people have towards known faces.

With older individuals, that isn’t the case. There is a flow in conversations, a listening ear given and a huge abyss of patience to find aid and comfort in. He adds, “Forming bonds with completely new individuals is easier, as there are no baseline judgements.” In a way even implying that this may just serve as an ice-breaker to many cherished bonds that grow with time.

Bag of Experiences

Recently Shantanu even mentioned the following on the company’s website, “I can’t pinpoint when it started, but I’ve always felt a deep fondness for older generations. Looking back, I realize many of my closest friends have silver hair and hearts of gold.”

As the Shantanu-Tata comradery grew stronger, the two were almost inseparable with time. However, things came to a standstill when Shantanu had to leave for the U.S. to pursue an MBA. Despite him having to leave, the young friend did promise his wiser friend on returning to work with him soon.

“The magic behind such bonds often lies in the shared experiences that we have and engage with, as people” explains Dr Aman Bhonsle, Relationship Counsellor, Psychotherapist and Mindset Coach. He opines that the notion of age is just a number. “Younger ears may seek an older voice, and an older voice may simply seek a fresh perspective from someone younger,” adds Dr Aman. However, he believes that what matters is that it’s a mixed bag of shared values, mutual support, camaraderie, there’s laughter and there is yet curiosity and even creativity in many ways. He adds, “A lot of these relationships unexpectedly form organically or maybe it’s intentional as well.”

He shares that in seeking some form of compassion with an older individual not only do you have the leeway to absorb and have exposure to that older individual’s unique perspectives and value systems, but also younger individuals simply find a safe-haven to confide and be their true selves. Dr Aman adds, “There’s also a lot of emotional support provided from both sides here as well.”

Grief, a Gift of Love

While Shantanu’s dearest ‘Millennial Dumbledore’ seems to have passed onto another transitional plane of eternity – the legacy, warmth, and lives touched and changed by him would stay for decades to come. Shantanu had lovingly nicknamed Tata as the “Millennial Dumbledore.” Perhaps, the beauty of relationships that sustain and surpass age and generational constructs is simply that, most of these are unintentionally stumbled upon and created.

Nonetheless, these undefined bonds occupy a huge space in our hearts and minds with time. As Shantanu aptly wrote after the passing away of Tata on his LinkedIn account: “The hole that this friendship has now left with me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to fill. Grief is the price we pay for love. Goodbye, my dear lighthouse!”