Don’t scramble your brains over the above sentences or give a mea culpa if you find it incomprehensible. Welcome to the Gen-Z language of modern dating! Be it fashion or dating, something or someone is always affordating, buzzing, fizzling, luv-bombing, or love-hazing over a ‘left’ or ‘right’ swipe 24x7. For Gen-Zers everything takes a new form at the click of a mouse or swipe of a finger – including the quest to find love. So they have invented unique slang and phrases that reflect their identity, experiences, and cultural nuances. Today’s young singles are no longer fervently pursuing their “happily ever after’s” like the previous generations. According to Tinder’s ‘Year In Swipe’ survey, this year was all about charting memorable experiences rather than “finding the one.”
Modern Dating Gurus
The bevy of dating apps and ‘Art of Swiping’ have changed the dynamics of modern dating and given rise to new dating trends and challenges. Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a couples therapist, explains that the fear of vulnerability and a desire for immediate gratification contribute to a culture of casual relationships. Shivani says, “Social media’s curated images intensify expectations, leading to overthinking. The emphasis on individuality and independence often overshadows traditional romantic norms, resulting in complex dynamics. In navigating this landscape, communication challenges grow, making dating intricate and multifaceted for the modern generation.” Here’s a quick guide into Gen-Z’s latest dating lingo trends:
NATO: Do not mistake it as the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) headquarters situated in Brussels, Belgium. In today’s dating parlance, NATO means (Not Attached to the Outcome). It is one form of dating that has become predominant in this generation. The term simply means ‘just going with the flow.’ NATO signifies a more open-minded and liberal approach to dating where individuals are less concerned about the outcome of a relationship. NATO emphasises embracing dating as a journey of discovery without focusing on what it can become. Shivani says, “NATO reflects a casual approach to relationships, emphasising experiences without the pressure of long-term commitment. This mindset, fueled by an urge for individual freedom and diverse experiences, can make establishing meaningful connections challenging.”
Social media’s curated images intensify expectations, leading to overthinking. The emphasis on individuality and independence often overshadows traditional romantic norms, resulting in complex dynamics.”
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, couples therapist
Tinselling: With the festive season, love is in the air and so is tinselling. It’s the term that describes what dating looks like during the festive season — Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. According to the New York Post, Tina Wilson, a relationship expert, coined the term to describe the way couples often try to bury their true feelings during the festive season.
Benching: This type of dating was considered one of the ‘worst dating trends’ of 2023. Benching is when a partner neither lets go of you nor commits enough to make it a full-blown relationship. He/she simply wants to keep ‘options open’. A person tends to bench you when they ‘do not actually want you’ or feel that some of your characteristic traits are attractive, but still not enough for them. With this type of dating, it is never official with your partner.
Next on Deck: This simply means, the next person in line to be dated if things don’t work out with the current one. Shivani expresses, “Next on Deck underscores the contingency mindset prevalent in modern dating. The notion of having a backup person ready, if the present relationship fails, speaks to a fear of being alone or a reluctance to invest emotionally in one person.
The ‘grass is greener’ mentality, fuelled by dating apps and constant social connection, may contribute to this approach.”
Affordating: It entails sharing costs evenly and participating in low-cost dating activities. This dating approach is effective for people who are actively dating because most people don’t want to spend a lot of money on their first date.
Love Haze: It is when you feel strong attraction to someone who exudes strong emotions of idealisation and joy. A person ignores a love interest’s shortcomings.
Open Casting: It refers to anyone who can come and audition for the role of ‘Significant Other’ in your life because you are not holding the position for a specific ‘type’. It inspires you to be open-minded and accepting of others who might not meet all of your criteria and expectations.
Val-Core Dating: The dating scene now revolves around values. People seek out partners who share their priorities and who actively participate in social causes in addition to showing concern for them. Val-Core describes the increase of individuals who value participation in topics that are important to them. These days, singles want companions who share their goals and who engage in social causes rather than showing superficial concern.
Groundhogging: The term Groundhogging links to the film Groundhog Day. It is the notion that people repeatedly pursue the same kind of person while anticipating different outcomes. After choosing a partner that best suits their ideal profile, people date them but eventually become disillusioned. When they return to dating apps, they wind up swiping someone who matches their profile instead of ending this loop.
Shivani says that these trends highlight the impact of societal shifts, technological advancements, and a changing cultural landscape on relationship dynamics. “The continuous influx of choices in the digital era could lead to decision fatigue, making it difficult for Gen Z individuals to navigate the dating scene with clarity. Amid these hurdles, fostering meaningful and lasting relationships needs a conscious effort to balance independence with authentic emotional connections,” she adds.
