“I love myself and I will do whatever I like”. “I love myself, whatever I do, I like.” There is a huge difference between these two sentences. The first statement says that happiness comes only after you do what you like to do while the second statement explains that you are already happy and express your happiness in whatever you do. The first one falls under an impression where one’s love is dependent on outside factors and external situations while the latter expresses self-love. Love yourself, don’t wait for outward happenings to feel loved. Majority of people, fall under the section where they seek love through various elements in and around their surroundings. Likewise, I feel happy when I have a Coca Cola or if I get a new job or a hike in my salary or a new car/bike, etc. This way happiness is dependent on an outward situation and is always seen after an event occurs. This kind of happiness is not self-love, this can be called as self-pleasure, which we assume as real happiness.
This further brings us to defining what is the fine line between self-love and self-pleasure? We often mistake comparing love and pleasure as something that is on the same pitch. Nothing is wrong with pleasure, in fact, our pleasure enhances when we are joyful, its like icing on the cake. Pleasure is achieved from the outside, whereas love is derived from within. There are two phases for this: one being when we go after something for fulfillment versus when we are already fulfilled and expressing ourselves through that thing. Let’s say, I love a sweet; when I have that sweet I am happy, versus I am happy with or without a sweet, and if I happen to have one, it’s like a cherry on the cake.
There is no harm in experiencing happiness through different situations or elements but then that’s temporary. It is when you have happiness from within and the love for self, that is genuine happiness and that stays permanent and forever. One is going upstream while one is going with the stream, one is flowing against the river, one is flowing with the river. When you are already joyful, you express it through different media — be it dance, music, sports, studies or cooking. What matters is being joyful!
How to be in self-love and in genuine happiness no matter, what happens? This is the science of inward journey, science of meditation. When you start living joyfully without a reason, you start expressing it through your daily behaviour. Similarly when action flows through anger, irritation and frustration, it will always hamper one’s journey of discovering self-love and happiness.
Self-love, is a process where one dedicates one’s time for oneself, “the inward-journey”, to catch one’s thoughts, patterns, beliefs. When a person rectifies these patterns, he identifies the blocking factors and uplifting moments and draws out the negative thoughts and welcomes the positive one’s. There are a number of practices for one to discover the path of self-love. One such practice towards discovering the treasure of self-love is known as LiYA 1 hour where you spend one hour for yourself, everyday, by cutting yourself off from the outer world and spending that joyous time in doing something you like and enjoy. As we are trapped in outer worldly matters, we often reap fruits of depression, frustration, irritation, anger and even sometimes revenge. But when we spend our time on our self, we reap the fruits of hopefulness, joyfulness, peacefulness, blissfulness and godliness. Start to live life by loving yourself. A person who is in love with himself is fulfilled from within and life for him is joyful. Rise in self-love and shine to a beautiful life!
The writer is a business and life coach
