Hyderabad: Young children who live through their parents’ divorce or separation, are affected deeply for decades, even when they enter adulthood. Research has shown that adults, whose parents were separated during their childhood, are at an increased risk when it comes to poor health. Kids who are constantly exposed to domestic violence at home and a marital fallout, develop deep-rooted feelings of anxiety and insecurity, leading to recurring nightmares which reflect their inner sense of disquiet.
When the parents do not explain to their kids or dwell on the reasons why they need to be separated, the children assume and imagine their own scenario, mostly blaming themselves for everything.
A psychologist from the city, Dr. Diana Monteiro, said that it totally depends on the parents how the child gets affected. If parents handle it well, the effects on their psyche can be minimal. “Generally, a difficult married life leads to a divorce, and witnessing the parents go through such stages and then suffer through a divorce in which the child cannot do anything, leaves a mark on their minds for a long time” said the Doctor.
“An unhealthy divorce leaves a negative impact on the kids. One of the main things the parents should be careful of is to not talk negatively about their partner with the kids and should explain them as to why they have to part ways,” added the psychologist.
Most children do not want their parents to separate. Divorce can also strain the parent and child relationship, leading to loss of contact with one parent, creating economic hardships and increase in conflict between the parents. For all these reasons, most children have a tough time during the divorce transition. “How long the transition lasts depends upon how calm or how chaotic the couple make it. Parents who do a good job by managing the stresses of divorce for children often are surprised by how quickly their kids make the adjustment. In our culture, parents do not explain anything to the child. Be it a death in the family or any other crisis, the kids should be informed in an age-appropriate manner” added Dr Diana.
The kids internalise the event and it leads to self-blaming, which is a major cause of depression. A divorce clearly increases the risk that children will suffer from psychological and behavioral problems.
