Are you one of those people who squirms when it comes to people touching you even casually? A recent international study — A study on Discomfort and Avoidance of Touch: New Insights on the Emotional Deficits of Social Anxiety, explored how people feel about being touched by others and it concluded that touch avoidance ties up with social anxiety among men and women.
We spoke to youngsters who dislike physical display of affection about changing social norms and what is accepted as appropriate and not. For some, they grew up with strong boundaries regarding physical affection. A strong connect with another person is absolutely important for them. Millusha Fernandes, a postgrad student at Christ University says, “I’ve never been able to understand why people hug but I guess it comes naturally to a few, and to some it doesn’t. It takes me a lot longer to get close to someone. Unless I’m seeing the person after a long time or the person is in need of a hug because they are upset, I don’t particularly like being hugged or touched,” she says.
A physical connection comes in various dimensions, and it is what makes us emotional beings. Nischita Kaverappa, a Psychology graduate explains, “I find that I am more open to close friends than my family. I do not like being cuddled as I do not enjoy or cherish it. I do not like people touching me, it depends on my mood too. It makes me feel a little awkward and I often don’t know how to react.”
Even the smallest of courtesies can prove to be vaguely uncomfortable for them as it simply takes them a little bit longer than usual to get adjusted to a new person and their vibe. Yashica C, “People who I’m close to are shocked if I volunteer to hug. It’s not that I don’t understand affection, I simply choose to express it differently and only when I find it necessary,” she quips. The reasons are varied, and Sruth Vincent, a psychologist comments, “Many people have a strong sense of boundary and personal space, as a result, they don’t like being touched. Others are a little less guarded and easy-going and don’t mind being hugged or kissed even. We can only speculate as to the reasons for these differences like childhood, upbringing or unresolved traumatic incidents. Various experiences or a lack of them could possibly contribute to this kind of touch avoidance.”
