Marriages may be made in heaven, but, in order for them to work, you’ve got to sit down with your partner and have a talk — minus the external noise and opinions — to build a system that suits both of you. A bunch of young couples tell us what has worked for them
Young couples are redefining love and marriage by setting boundaries and prioritizing authenticity in their relationships. (Image by arrangement)
Move over pre-nups and joint accounts — love in 2024 is all about navigating everyday struggles with rules that work for nobody else but the couple in question. Here are some interesting ways in which some young couples have kept the spark alive even while drawing boundaries, and ensured that their marriages remained happy and independent of other people’s views.
United in diversity
“In 2024, my partner and I are navigating an inter-religious relationship. Convincing our parents was initially tough, given societal pressures and expectations. But rather than rushing or giving in to that pressure, we chose to wait it out. We didn’t want to sacrifice our happiness or authenticity for the sake of conforming to societal norms, especially regarding the timing of marriage,” says New Delhi-based publicist Karishma Sain. “Belonging to different faiths as we do, we’ve made some deliberate choices to honour both our backgrounds. We’ve decided to celebrate festivals that each of our religions follow, in both of our homes. I celebrate my festivals in my family’s home, and my partner does the same in theirs, rather than feeling obligated to always celebrate together at one house. Additionally, we’ve opted to live in the same city but in separate homes to maintain the integrity of our respective cultures. This approach allows us to navigate our relationship in a way that feels authentic and respectful to both of our backgrounds and beliefs without compromise, while also prioritising our own happiness and well-being.”
Stand up for each other
The easiest way to get your spouse/partner to flee is by making inane demands based on the desire to make them another version of yourself. Clear communication of expectations is key to ensure there is no resentment on either side. “The one thing that has kept us bonded and going on is the trust between us and not letting any third person influence our thoughts. As a rule, nobody gets a say in something until we’ve mutually arrived at a decision. So, while it’s good to take advice from others when faced with a challenge, we have made a pact to try and resolve it ourselves first before another opinion is taken. Emotional maturity and mental boundaries are crucial for marriages to survive,” shares Pooja Gupta, an entrepreneur who has been married for 11 years. “Resolve your differences in private. Supporting each other in front of the in-laws is a big game changer. If living independently feels like the right choice to nurture your marriage, do it by all means. Doing that has strengthened my equation with our respective families,” she adds.
Finding time for togetherness
While most couples today prefer living in a space they have to themselves, Ishita Sharma Agarwal, a homemaker, believes that moving in with in-laws doesn’t have to spell doom, provided there is mutual respect. She comments, “At times it gets difficult to find spare time to be with alone with your spouse, given the responsibilities and varied opinions of family members. Inputs regarding planning a family or on how to live life, and the need to seek approval for a lot of decisions that were once independently taken can scar your relationship and make things go haywire. But then, you need to look for a balance, walk past things that pull you down and be each other’s strength We’ve made a deal to never go to bed without resolving any stupid fights. Personally, I’ve been blessed with understanding in-laws who are our support system. But making couple outings a regular affair can save your marriage!”
Go to a professional
Facing trouble in paradise? Seek professional help and not counsel from family, suggests Roopa Shetty, advocate and founder of Lex Situs. Her advice is: “Choose your battles and refrain from involving close friends and family in them. As convenient and reliable as this option may seem, it never really offers an unbiased perspective, and can therefore do more harm than good. It’s highly recommended that spouses facing issues or couples entering into marriage seek advice and guidance from trained and certified professionals.”
( Source : Deccan Chronicle )
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