“Doc, my husband is no more interested in me,” lamented the attractive lady sitting across my table. “It is not true,” protested the man. “Then why is that you don’t sleep with me now a days?” retorted the lady. “Earlier you used to force me for sex at least once a day if not twice?” she cried.
Karun and Reema’s was a love marriage. The first three years of the marriage was great fun — both inside and outside the bedroom. But Karun has shown no interest in sex, since the past one year. Even if Reema tries all the tricks to ignite passion in him, he does not respond. He is like a block of ice.
What Karun is experiencing is a condition called Sexual Burnout Syndrome. In this condition, a person who used to lead an extra active sex life, suddenly finds that sex does not give him the pleasure any more. The penis also does not rise to the occasion as often as it used to in spite of all the stimulation. Some people may experience emotional and physical exhaustion, a sense of estrangement and feelings of detachment in the relationship. People who enjoy sex at a very early age and compulsively engage in sex with a high frequency, sometimes more than once in a single day for an extended period, run the risk of getting sexually fatigued.
Guidelines for person suffering burnouts:
Accept/understand the situation.
Take a vacation from sexual gymnastics.
Relax. Learn to enjoy the non-sexual aspects of the relationship.
For the spouses:
Be supportive.
Realise that with time, the lost passion will be rediscovered.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
